


Equilibrium

by mint_rain



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Fluff, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Morning After, Slow Burn, Swearing, Veterinarian AU, Veterinarian Asahi, alcohol use, asahi has anxiety, but not really, getting better, in case anyone's sensitive to that, noya is a pet parent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 23:10:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17130476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mint_rain/pseuds/mint_rain
Summary: The day seemed to rotate on endlessly.  But just as Asahi was heading for the door to check on something outside, somebody else beat him to it.  Somebody shorter, more urgent, and carrying a soft mesh animal cage in his two small hands.  Asahi jumped back as fast as he could, apologizing before holding the door open for the short man.“S-sorry,” was all that Asahi could muster, eyes trained on whatever was inside of the carrier.  That was...a miserable animal.“N-no, it’s fine.  Hey, uh, I couldn’t really--well--my friend tried to call here, like, half an hour ago, and I, we,” he had to stop and take a deep breath.  “My roommate’s stupid fucking bird got to my bearded dragon!”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i am rewriting this and the previous version has been orphaned (i meant to delete it lol). enjoy!

It was hot out, nearly unbearably so. The sky was pale and dripping with stifling humidity, the lasts wisps of dew steaming and curling up and away under the 6 am sunrise. Asahi Azumane was riding on the morning train, sleepy bodies of businessmen and university students swaying as one united being. The brunette felt anxiety stirring quietly beneath his skin; it was muted and gentle, still buried beneath the pillows of a sleepy mind and medication. He was too wary of his peers to flick through his reports, trying his very best to run through all of the animals that he would be seeing that day. 

Asahi was an exotic vet, and a good one at that. Though he would never be able to muster up the confidence to proclaim himself as anything above just decent, he had a large group of patients and subsequently, a fairly large paycheck. So, why was he riding the community train? The answer was simple. While he was anxious about being in such close proximity to other people, he was even more anxious about the inevitable doom that greenhouse gases would bring to him and his fellow homosapiens. It was a small way to pay his rent on the earth, he figured. 

Lost in thought, Asahi nearly missed his stop. As the resident metal capsule slowly swayed to a halt, he clutched his backpack closer to his chest and made his way narrowly out of the train and onto the platform, doing his best to squeeze and shrink around the other people in his car. It was a bit of a feat, given his size. Of course, he had to graze a few bodies here and there; he had to do that every day. 

Once Asahi had made his final trek to work, he fished a large wad of keys out of his pocket, untangling a particular metal piece and carefully pushing it into the lock. The cool tiles beneath him squeaked as he made his way into the cool and dark office, sounds of animals of all kinds chirping and squawking and clattering in the back room. The brunette took a moment to appreciate the quiet of the room, his eyes scanning the sterile waiting area of his office. The office he had built for himself, overtaken from his father. The building that he spent so long just helping in, and years at school to uphold. Asahi steadied himself, straightening up his spine and inhaling the faintly clinical aroma of 409 cocktailed with the ever present stained-in smell of animal musk. He flicked on the lights, looking on as cool bulbs washed the tile floors with light. He drew the blinds open with a _fwush_ , letting in the warm heat of the sun and feeling it mingle quietly with the cool air that swept over his skin. 

Asahi made his way down the hall and into one of the rooms in the back, unlocking the door and beholding a closet-sized area filled with neatly organized wires and dials all over the plaster walls. He curled his coffee-colored fingers around a dial and turned it backwards, down from 75 to 60. After closing the door behind him, the doctor made his way around the front desk and into the _real_ back room. 

As the squeaks and screeches got ever more present, Asahi felt anticipation rising in his chest. This morning, he would find out whether or not Squiggles the ball python was responding well to his new antibiotics. He would find out if Pumpkin the parakeet had somehow managed to twist her hurt wing up again, no matter what sort of cast Asahi’s crew of talented doctors and interns were able to dream up for her. He pushed open the door and flicked on the many dim bulbs that were built in the ceiling, slowly making his way around the cages and incubators. Carefully, he pulled the mesh top of Squiggles’ cage off, undoing the clasps, and scooping him up into his hands. Asahi lifted the reptile to his ear, listening in the dim quiet for the telltale whistling and popping of a respiratory infection. It was soft, though audible, and Asahi exhaled easily. The infection seemed to be dissipating. He would have to call the owners as soon as the clinic opened. Soon enough, Asahi checked through the rest of the cages. Pumpkin looked to be sleeping, her cast ripped unevenly at the top, closest to her beak. She had finally given up on popping open the cast. A small smile welcomed itself on Asahi’s face, his feet carrying him back to the front of the building. He was anticipating what would come his way today. *** 

Soon enough, his other technicians and interns were filing into work. The brunette nodded a good morning to each and every one that he saw, warm and friendly and unafraid. After all, he knew these people. They were his family, proven time and time again that they remained at the clinic for more than just the payroll. As soon as the clinic opened, the place seemed to roll into action. It was slow and gradual, like a freight train. People around the office spoke quietly, and with the constant animal noises, there was always something to be seen. Typical Wednesday. 

The day seemed to rotate on endlessly. But just as Asahi was heading for the door to check on something outside, somebody else beat him to it. Somebody shorter, more urgent, and carrying a soft mesh animal cage in his two small hands. Asahi jumped back as fast as he could, apologizing before holding the door open for the short man. 

“S-sorry,” was all that Asahi could muster, eyes trained on whatever was inside of the carrier. That was...a miserable animal. “N-no, it’s fine. Hey, uh, I couldn’t really--well--my friend tried to call here, like, half an hour ago, and I, we,” he had to stop and take a deep breath. “My roommate’s stupid fucking bird got to my bearded dragon!” 

The man before him was short, about 5’2, with huge eyes that were filled with golden pools of light and hazel. He had particularly sharp canines, especially the prominent lower ones, which shone white like little gemstones in the shoreline of teeth striking lip. The man looked like a whip of a storm, a tornado in a coca-cola bottle. His eyes buzzed with three times as many emotions as Asahi even knew a human could possess, mouth parted and breathing the air around him all in a frenzy. His legs were small, little wiry things with obvious muscle and power beneath the taut skin. The same could be said about his arms, and his hands. Tough calloused fingers connected to small palms, a vein curling like a river beneath the skin of his right hand. His nails were short to the skin, looking bit down. 

“Dude? Please, help me!” Asahi snapped out of his observant haze, kicking himself mentally and wincing from the embarrassment of it all, and a surge of urgency flooded through him as he nodded in quick, apologetic understanding. 

“Y-yes, alright!” 

He took the little mesh carrier and set his salad down on the way into the emergency room. He set the dragon down on the cold operating table, radioing for a couple techs. “I have a bearded dragon that was attacked by a bird. It looks severe, I have to go back out and ask the owner some questions. Please come and clean its wounds with hydrogen peroxide, and check its vitality.” He said, before walking back into the waiting room to be faced with a very distressed young man. 

Asahi was caught off guard. Sure, he had dealt with plenty of distressed or anxious pet owners; it was the majority of people he saw every day. However, the anxious pet owner that stood in the middle of the waiting room looked to be a different kind altogether. 

The room was perceptibly silent as the veterinarian made his way to the middle of the cold tile floor, his own eyes mirroring anxiety as he looked in awe at the electric man standing before him. A dark storm felt like it was curling in the air, even the tacky fluorescents feeling dim against the creeping scenario. 

“I’m Dr. Azumane,” he said softly. He didn’t know exactly what else could be said, but perhaps an introductory would help. 

“Um, uh, N-Nishinoya Yuu,” squeaked the man that stood about a foot below him. “And the dragon...is Bolt.” He managed, fingers of a left hand twisting in the hem of his Adidas tank top, while the other one jutted out to shake with Asahi’s own. It was clammy, cold, and the touch felt like a zap. Upon retrieving his hand, he looked perturbingly like a child. “Will he...I mean, Is he gonna be okay?” 

Asahi swallowed thickly and nodded. “I believe so. Bolt will have to have the wounds cleaned, and depending on the severity, he may need a stitch or two.” That was a fair response, wasn’t it? Asahi had definitely seen worse. 

Nishinoya’s eyes lit all the way up and smoothed out all at once. Wary relief. “Thank you!” He breathed, a grin splitting across his face like a busted seam on a baseball. “Um, I...sorry about that. You know, the running in here thing. I just got really worried! I’ve never seen Bolt _bleed_ before, I just…” he had to stop and shake his head in dismay and worry. “Sorry.” 

Asahi shook his head slowly. Now that his mind had pulled itself out of Heroic Doctor Mode, he had to deal with the immense Nishinoya-induced anxiety that was welling up in his chest. “Ah, um...It’s okay. Please don’t worry. We’re here for that.” He managed to say, his heart already starting to twist and hammer in his chest. He remembered his medicine, so why was he so anxious? Maybe it was the intense absolution of Nishinoya’s eyes, the way they bore deep into his being and looked him over. Maybe it was how flurried and windswept their meeting had been, without time for Asahi to ease into the conversation. He would hate to run into Nishinoya in a public setting. “Anyway, erm...I have to ask you some questions about what happened to Bolt,” he said softly, watching Nishinoya carefully. Somehow, he seemed just as rapt as Asahi felt. He was staring up at the brunette’s face, his eyes wide and filled with some sort of quicksilver interest. Shiny, slippery, intangible. It took a few seconds for Asahi’s words to sink in, Nishinoya’s interested gaze skipping to a hard halt. “Uh….oh. Oh, yeah,” he laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. “Uh, well, ask away, I guess.” 

For a moment, Asahi mused as to how somebody could switch moods so easily. Packing all of those feelings would run him out of energy in minutes. Nishinoya appeared to be winding down, or at least pretending to. Asahi noted the hands still fisted in his tank top, the oily sheen of sweat gathered at his forehead. Winding down? Nervous. Asahi nodded. He took a clipboard and a report sheet from the front desk, and turned to look Nishinoya up and down carefully. “What kind of bird was it?” 

Nishinoya thought for a moment. “An African Grey,” he responded, and Asahi nodded. 

“How long ago did this happen?” He watched Nishinoya shrug a little, his caramel eyes casting downwards. 

“About an hour ago, I think. I rushed him here as soon as I could; my friend drove me.” Nishinoya was flushed still, adding quickly, “Uh, b-but I have a car! And a job!” Asahi paused for a moment. Why was that a big deal? Nishinoya felt scarier and more unpredictable by the minute. “Alright…” he laughed, barely so, a breathy exhale of a noise, more out of politeness than anything else. 

He went on with a few more questions, Nishinoya giving generic and fairly easy replies to them all. “I think that’s all I need. We’ll probably have to keep Bolt for a night or two to keep his wounds cleaned,” he said softly, before making a soft little noise of remembrance. “Would you fill out a report, please?” 

Nishinoya nodded quickly, and walked over to the counter, continuing to steal looks up at the vet, his eyes wide and his movements still a little bit fidgety. It made Asahi nervous. Was something wrong? Did he look funny? Or was it just the sheer fear of the situation, still permeating the air around them? 

“Suga, could you give me a report paper, please?” He asked, and watched the receptionist pull out a sheet of paper and a little branded pen. He handed them to Nishinoya and smiled, eyes lingering on him for a moment. It seemed everyone knew things he did not. Asahi took a step back, as the wiry man filled out the sheet. He couldn’t help but watch, his chicken scratch scrawling in scribbly little wormy lines across the paper. It was endearing, in a weird kind of way. 

“Done!” Nishinoya pushed that same grin at Asahi, making his brain squirm. “Oh, uh, and actually,” his expression turned soft, more embarrassed. After handing over his credit card for Sugawara to run an initial fee through, he looked a bit shyly up at Asahi. “Do you think I could...like, get your number? Just to be able to check up on Bolt, you know?” he added the last part as a quip, eyes widening in ernest and cheeks getting a little pink. His smile faded into a serious frown, an expression of utmost insistence. 

Asahi paused in his motions, swearing that he could hear Sugawara make a noise of interest. “Ah, sure. I’ll give you my card. When you call here, ask Suga for my extension.” He smiled kindly, before pulling a card out of a dinky little clay business card holder on the front desk, shaped like a dog. 

“Here,” he handed over the card, worrying his lip in between his teeth. Thankfully, after becoming a vet, he’d been forced to get over the anxiety of speaking on the phone. Nishinoya looked a little bit dejected, but soon enough, he flashed another grin. These complicated facial features seemed to have no end to their arrival. Though the grin was shaky, nerves still alight from the stressful situation that had just transpired, Asahi wondered briefly what it would feel like to be able to smile like that. 

“Thanks. By the way, you can call me Noya. I’ll talk to you later! Thank you for taking care of Bolt!” He waved, and turned to jog and hop his way right out the glass door. All Asahi could manage was a weak nod and wave, paling as he caught Nishinoya’s eye all the way out from the parking lot. What a scary, strange person. 

“He seems interesting,” Sugawara commented, but otherwise said nothing. Asahi could only nod and swallow. What else could he say? He was right, and Asahi wasn't sure whether it was good or bad. How...nerve wracking. He wondered if there was a single person in the world who could manage to handle somebody like Nishinoya. *** 

The day dragged out slowly, with Bolt’s wounds being cleaned, and the clinic’s scheduled appointments dwindling down to a remainder of zero. Asahi looked at the sleepy sunset that was falling kindly over the horizon. Everything turned from glimmery-gold to a deep purple, dew accumulating all over everything in a sheen of brow sweat. His team packed up one at a time, leaving Asahi alone in the calmness of the empty clinic. He heard all of the animals settling down into their heat mats to sleep, or perhaps beginning to wake up after a day of nocturnal rest. It was nearing 9, and then, the phone rang. 

Asahi nearly jumped out of his skin. This meant there was either an emergency, or...his brain flew back to Nishinoya’s grin. Or something just short of one. Asahi slowly sat down in Sugawara’s spinning chair, cradling the desk phone in his hands and lifting it to his ear. “Karasuno Veterinary Clinic,” he said, before he heard the telltale voice on the other end. 

“Uhh, hi! Could you put me through to Doctor A...wait a minute!” He laughed, and before he knew it, Asahi found himself sweating. Scary. 

“Erm...Nishinoya?” He asked softly, everything around him feeling infinitely less simple and comfortable. Why did his hunch have to be right? 

“The one and only!” He could practically hear the grin through the telephone wires. Nagasaki’s dim sky and mountains were a quiet blanket, and eerily, it felt like the scenery was wrapping around just the two of them. 

“Bolt seems to be healing up well. He’ll be fine in a couple of days, and then we’ll get him right back to you,” he said calmly, reclining with a creak in the worn chair. “He’s got a strong will to get well.” 

“Ahh, I’m so glad! Uh, but why isn’t your receptionist here?” Asahi heard the thunderous voice ask, toning down just a little in a goofy way. Asahi curled the coiled phone cord around a finger absentmindedly. 

“He went home an hour and a half ago,” came the reply, though he regretted letting out something that felt so familiar, and maybe even sarcastic. 

“...Oh. So… Are you closed?” Nishinoya asked, the same childish tone of voice surfing the optical fibers between them. 

“Uh, yeah,” Asahi replied. 

“Oh, oops. But then why are you talking to me?” Asahi could hear the coy smile on the other end. 

“Because...I had to pick up the phone. What if it was an emergency?” 

“Well, what if it was me?” Soft, buzzing quiet. The intrusive words hung in the air, and Asahi felt a disdainful recoil in his stomach. How could he admit to having thought that, too? At this point, his brain was treating them like the same thing. 

“All of our customers are important.” he said, opting for the safe and easy route. 

“You think I’m important, Dr. Azumane?” 

“Asahi is fine,” he was nearly whispering by now, sure that there was a faint trickle of embarrassment in his voice. If Nishinoya was going to be calling past his bedtime, he might as well speak to him like an adult. A tiny sliver of control. Call me what I want, if you must call me anything at all. It was arbitrary, sure, but important. Asahi would tell himself that it was for the illusion of control, rather than a polite middle ground. It was what everybody called him, anyways. 

Nishinoya paused, and for once, Asahi wondered if he had stunned him into silence. He was too pleased with himself to be very embarrassed of the tone that he took, and the absence of Nishinoya’s question pulled his confidence on. _I can play, too._

Suddenly, between the three seconds pause and the little prickle of glee in his ribs, Asahi stole a glance at the desktop monitor’s clock. Shit. 9:34. The last train was at 9:46. Secretly, Asahi was happy for an out. Happy that he could leave this conversation at all, let alone on a fairly high note. 

“Nishinoya, the last train leaves in twelve minutes.” he said, untangling thick fingers from the phone cord. 

“Ah...huh. Well, Asahi,” Nishinoya said, that finalizing tone in his voice when people talked on the phone and were ready to end their conversation, “I guess I should let you go.” Asahi understood the appeal of a car, just for a moment. Nishinoya sounded genuinely disappointed. 

“Yeah...I guess so.” “I’ll check in tomorrow,” came a flurry of rushed words. Asahi has already suspected that as a given. Damn. 

“Oh, yeah. Make sure to remember that you have to go through Suga.” He said, in an attempt to stay neutral. 

“As long as I get to talk to you,” Nishinoya said, and then it was Asahi’s turn to be quiet. He swallowed slowly, carefully. He didn’t want to lose. “Then...I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Asahi replied, his voice low and warm, and for just a flicker of a second, sleepy Nagasaki’s lavender little world didn’t feel so typically lonely. “Goodnight then, Asahi.” and then there was a soft click. 

Asahi ran a hand over his forehead, his eyebrows knitting up and together for just a moment. What...was that? and why did everything feel so personal? Asahi couldn’t tell Nishinoya off, or ask him to hang up because he didn't want to talk. it was terrifying, because Asahi found Nishinoya just a little bit endearing. But realistically, the conversation was exhausting. He had to be quick to squash the idea that this was anything more than an odd and intrusive customer. *** 

Asahi made it to the train just as it rolled up to the station, stepping inside and casting a bare look to the few sleepy businessmen and women that inhabited the fluorescent ecosystem of the cab. He had other things on his mind, or rather, a single Other Thing. Of course he wouldn’t be able to rid himself of the thoughts that curled within him. His therapist labelled him a “chronic overthinker” for a reason. 

Once he got home, the brunette was finally able to curl his hands around a hot mug of tea. He let the warmth heat up his palms, and made himself a tupperware of beef stew. The night was lovely and warm spent under the roof of Asahi’s spacious apartment, alone. Bright eyes seemed to swirl in his head, and a pair of sharp canines to accent a nervous grin. Frustrating, electric Nishinoya. 

He fell asleep soon, sooner than usual. Today had been brutal. *** 

The phone call came at lunch. “Asahi, there is someone on the phone for you asking about his bearded dragon,” Sugawara’s voice sung through the receiver, always acting like a mom, like he knew something Asahi just couldn’t grasp. But that didn’t matter now. 

“Hey, Asahi,” Nishinoya said, and Asahi swallowed his turkey sandwich down quickly. “Hi,” he replied, twiddling a pen in his fingers. 

“Bolt is looking good. I don’t think he’ll be needing any stitches, but he might have some…” Asahi paused, hoping that what he was about to say wasn’t too insensitive. “Battle scars.” 

Nishinoya exploded in a flurry of laughter on the other line. Asahi lifted the phone just a little from his ear. The laugh was jarring, and charming. “Asahi, that’s so cool! You should see the other guy!” He laughed again, and Asahi couldn’t help but join him, quietly. He wasn’t often one to make fun of the injury of animals, but perhaps it wasn’t the joke he was chuckling at. 

“If he’s that bad, I might have to.” He replied. 

“As long as I get to bring him,” Nishinoya quipped back, a little bit faster than Asahi was expecting. Had he been planning to say that, or was it impulsive? Did Nishinoya plan _anything_? 

“Well, you should have your roommate with you,” Asahi finally replied, looking rather longingly at his food. He was awkward and hungry as hell. “Cool, of course. But um...well, how’s your day been?” Nishinoya asked into the receiver. 

Asahi scraped his pen against the table deliberately. Nishinoya was kind of getting personal, huh? It was a little bit off-putting, and really, why didn’t this get under his skin more? Maybe it was just his medicine talking for him. 

“Well...I’ve already had to take two rocks out of a parrot’s stomach. I neutered a pig, too.” 

Nishinoya gasped. “Woooaaahhh! You did?! That’s so cool!” He whistled. 

“Ah, not _really_ ,” Asahi replied, and felt his cheeks get warm. “It’s just protocol…” 

“But you’re helping so many animals! You’re making the world a better place, Asahi. That’s really cool. Not to mention that you’re able to perform surgery on _parrots_ and _pigs_. You’re like a superhero!” 

Asahi felt his hands start to sweat. “N-no way,” he replied nervously, biting his bottom lip. “I’m not…” _Fake flattery_ , he told himself. Nishinoya wanted a discount, or something. He was lying. 

“Ahh, yeah, you are. We could go back and forth all day. Just take my compliment.” Nishinoya sounded so _convinced_. He clearly didn’t know Asahi well enough. That, or he was a great actor. “, 

Ah, well, thank you…” he said quietly, pausing at the muffling on the other line. 

“Shit, Asahi, I gotta go. Sorry, my break is over,” he said, and Asahi looked down at his desk. 

“A-Alright,” Asahi replied quietly, before looking up at the wall. Was this all he would be talking to Nishinoya tonight? In the daylight, their conversation didn’t feel half bad. “Oh, wait a moment. “Would you leave me your number? I'll be able to update you about Bolt later tonight.” 

"Ooh...after-receptionist hours?” Nishinoya purred. Asahi felt his face getting warm. How outrageous. 

“I…I can't, erm, promise anything.” he replied, his eyes cast down at the sandwich sitting lonely on his wood-patterned desk. 

“Well...okay! Here’s my number, then. I really wanna hear from you later...I won't stay too busy.” Nishinoya then started to recite a lump of numbers, and Asahi scrambled to get them down. 

“I'll call you later, then. Goodbye, Noya.” “Bye, Asahi,” Nishinoya held a fond and soft lilt of his words, and they made Asahi’s chest twist up a little. Kind of sweet. 

_Click._

Asahi checked the clock. The majority of his lunch break had been eaten up by Nishinoya, and he realized suddenly that he could have easily told the other man that he was on break. He had an out, so why didn't he use it? *** 

After Asahi walked out of his neat office, he caught sight of two of his co-workers talking. Namely, Sugawara and Daichi. 

“Ah, Asahi! Come over here!” Suga beckoned him, pale hands curling towards himself, and Asahi had to drift forwards. 

“Um...hi. What’s going on?” Asahi replied, bottom lip worried between his teeth. 

“We were just talking about your newest customer. Nishinoya Yuu, right? It seems like he likes you.” He smiled, cheeky and refreshing, in a way. Suga always had a way of smoothing Asahi’s mind out. “He called and asked for you by your first name. I didn’t know you guys were on that kind of basis already.” 

Asahi pinked. “Um, well...I told him he could call me Asahi, I guess,” he shrugged, offering a nervous kind of smile. 

It was clear that Sugawara opted not to ask just _when_ that interaction had transpired. “From what I can tell, he might be good for you to hang around more often.” Sugawara’s words made Asahi frown a little. 

“Um...is there...something wrong with me?” 

“Oh, no! I just mean that he’s a really outgoing guy! Good influence.” 

Asahi opened his mouth to say something, but there was already a mom and daughter strolling through the door, with a guinea pig. Suga sat down into his receptionist’s chair, and Daichi slipped away to go pretend to be busy. Asahi only stood in place, wondering all the while why everyone seemed to know more about his relationships with others than he did. *** 

The day was otherwise regular. Never slow, never quite too fast, but Asahi didn't have the time to sit down regardless. At 8:30, Sugawara gathered his things to leave. _Oh, shit._

For a moment, Asahi contemplated forgetting to call Nishinoya back. But, belatedly, he knew it would be severely unprofessional. He cast a baleful look to the clock. 

Asahi had to call Nishinoya back. he made his way into his office, sitting down in his dark leather chair and picking up the landline. he dialed the numbers that rested cheekily on a yellow sticky note, adhesed to his desk calendar. 

One ring. Two rings. _Click._

“Hello?” Came a hurried reply, as if Nishinoya had been genuinely excited to pick up the phone. 

“Nishinoya,” Asahi said quietly, before pausing. He...hadn't even checked on Bolt since the beginning of the afternoon. 

“It’s me,” Nishinoya said, and Asahi could hear the grin. But Asahi did have one bit of knowledge about Bolt. 

“Bolt can leave, tomorrow. He looked good this afternoon, just a bit of scabbing. I’ll go over the details tomorrow, whenever you can come in.” 

The office was silent now. nobody was left, and Asahi was surrounded by the soft nothingness of buzzing fluorescents and animal noises. And of course, Nishinoya. 

“Uh. Ohh, okay! Well, that was faster than I thought! You work fast, huh?” He sounded...sad. 

“Well, I think that maybe Bolt is just tough,” Asahi replied, and found himself smiling, searching the room for something to stare at. 

“It was a team effort, then.” Nishinoya said, “what time should I come in?” “How’s eleven?” Asahi responded. 

“Eleven is good...I’ll see you soon, then? Tomorrow, I guess?” 

Asahi hummed in affirmation. “Ah, yeah. I’ll see you.” 

“Uh, wait. Do you wanna talk some more? You know, I mean, you don't have to!” Nishinoya sounded like he was backing out. 

“Ah, well...Sure. I have about an hour until I have to be at the train station. What do you want to talk about?” What. Oh, no. He couldn't help but notice how personal this all felt. It had started to rain, as Asahi could see, outside of his window. Little sprinkles of water smattered his window, cool and silencing. The occasional car rumbled by every once in a while, and Asahi could only see the headlights from his view of the courtyard. 

“Okay, well...Tell me about your day today. How was everything?” 

What had he done today? “Hmm...well.” Asahi found himself genuinely thinking about what might please Nishinoya. “A guinea pig got out. Daichi--one of my coworkers--had to catch her with a big net. He had to lock himself in the Animal Room. Afterwards, he went and took a break down behind Suga’s desk.” 

Nishinoya listened intently. “Ohh, shit. At least it sounds like the thing is feeling better!” Asahi let slip a breathy chuckle. “It was only getting some required shots.” 

“Ohh. Well, hey! You take care of them, then. How’s the parrot that ate the rocks? And the pig?” 

“Ah…I’m sort of surprised you remembered that stuff. They’re both doing pretty well. The pig went home today and the parrot is going home either tomorrow or the next day.” 

“Sure I remembered! I’m glad that they're on the mend...and it's all thanks to Doctor Azumane, here to save the day again.” 

Asahi laughed again. He slowly ran a hand through his hair, pulling it out of its tie. “I don't know about all that…” 

“Hey,” Nishinoya stopped him suddenly. “Do you...uh. Well, it sounds stupid. But I’m the king of saying stupid shit. So...do you talk to anybody else after the secretary leaves?” His words turned soft and quiet, threading and waving through the fiber optics. 

“I...no,” Asahi mumbled, searching around his office for something to let him focus on. Something to get him out. How would he have time to talk to anybody else, anyways? 

“Oh. Well, hey. Me, neither, uh.” 

Asahi exhaled softly. “I see. Oh! I guess that I didn't...I didn't ask about how your day went.” This felt exceedingly personal. 

“Oh, my day! Well, it was pretty boring, I think. Tanaka--my friend--came over. we hung out and played video games, then we went out to eat. Uh...I talked about you. A little.” Nishinoya got quiet, and Asahi bit his lip. 

“Suga talked about you,” he admitted. “To Daichi.” 

“What did he say? Was it good?” Noya asked, sounding a little anxious. 

“Ah, yeah. Just said you were friendly, to me.” He left out the other, more suggestive parts of the conversation he’d overheard. 

“That’s good! And true, I guess,” Nishinoya seemed to trail off. “Anyways. I really, uh. I like to talk to you. Like, maybe more than I should.” 

Soft static filled the line for just a moment, when Asahi didn't know what to say. This all felt so personal, so juvenile. 

“Uhh, but anyways! I’ve got to go! So, yeah! I’ll talk to you tomorrow! At eleven! Bye Asahi!” 

_Click._

It was time to go home, and Asahi didn't quite want to. His fingers twitched for the phone, staring at it like maybe it would start to ring out of nowhere, like Nishinoya would reach back out and all Asahi would have to do was pick up. It was easy to keep recieving, when there was no need for him to reach out. 

There was no ring. Asahi stood. He got his things, and began to shut the office down. turn up the air conditioning, lock the rooms, check the cages, sweep up a little bit. Things had already be sanitized and wiped down. Asahi had about fifteen minutes until he needed to leave. He wanted to go now. 

And three minutes after Asahi had walked out of the building, there was a ring at the front desk. There were about eight and a half rings, actually. 

And there was a message, one that said: 

_“Hey, Asahi. Sorry for hanging up so soon. I guess you probably left already. But, um. I still mean it. Like, what I said. Okay, bye.”_

Perhaps Asahi would have picked up, and maybe they would have talked a little more. *** 

As soon as Sugawara walked in and sat down at his desk, he checked the messages and voicemails left on the landline. The most recent, which was second to last, was the one that would cause Sugawara to grin widely and call Asahi behind the desk. 

“There is a voicemail for you, specifically.” He said, and held up the receiver, for Asahi to listen. The light-haired man pressed play, and Asahi could feel a kind of ashamed embarrassment curl up in his chest. Maybe he was making friends now, and maybe he didn’t want Sugawara to hear that message. 

“Did you guys talk last night?” Suga asked, and Asahi nodded. “Why on the office phones?” 

Asahi paused, and looked at Suga. That got his wheels turning, and his friend knew it. “Uh...because he called the office phones? And besides, he’s a customer of mine. Where else would we talk?” 

“Dense as ever,” Suga rolled his eyes and smiled, but didn’t say anything else. “Well, alright. He’s coming to pick Bolt up?” 

“At eleven,” Asahi responded, glancing at the clock despite himself. An hour and forty-seven minutes. And then, well, then what? Would he still be getting night calls like he had been? Did he even want them? A 

sahi sighed. There was still time, there was still hope for a satisfying conclusion...whatever it may be. *** 

Nishinoya came barrelling into the building at 10:49. Asahi was in the Emergency Room, sterilizing bleeding Iguana scratches that stretched and clambered up his left arm. He only looked up when Daichi poked his head into the door. 

“Somebody is here to see you.” 

“Ah...He’s early, then,” Asahi said, but took a warm washcloth with him, applying pressure to his rather itchy arm. 

Daichi didn’t comment on the fact that he’d been keeping track of time, or that he knew who it was without having to hear it. 

“Hi, Asa--Dr. Azumane!” Nishinoya’s grin soaked the entire room in sunshine. Asahi flushed, knowing well that his two best friends would store that for later. Suddenly, his eyes landed on Asahi’s arm. “Oh, shit! What the hell happened to you?!” 

“Iguanas can be pretty mean...Ah. Bolt is ready to go home. He’s in the case that he came in, but I want to make sure that you know a few things, first.” 

Nishinoya was staring. When Asahi looked at him, eyes dragging away from the space that was right beside his ear, he knew. “Uh...oh! Yeah, o-okay. Let me, uh, get my phone. And type it out.” 

Asahi waited for that to happen, before beginning to list off the requirements for Bolt’s care. 

“Wipe down his cuts with diluted hydrogen peroxide every night. Make sure he doesn’t have any loose substrate in his tank, replace it with paper towels. Keep everything inside of his enclosure very clean, and don’t take him out and play with him too much. And...Bring him back in about a week. Call if anything is immediately urgent.” 

Nishinoya perked up at the last couple orders. “O-oh, seriously? Okay! Well, I’ll make sure to.” They were quiet for a moment. “A-and Asahi?” Asahi nodded for a moment. 

“Yeah?” 

“Uh, well. I guess...I’ll call you tonight. Or something.” 

Asahi stared at the pet parent in disbelief. He wanted to keep talking? Even after Bolt was home…? He supposed he shouldn’t have been quite too surprised, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. 

“I’ll be here,” he replied. “But, I’m going to go and get Bolt now.” 

Nishinoya nodded, and flashed a grin. It was that same rocketing, goofy smile. Asahi liked it. Especially now that he didn’t have to picture it from over the phone. The air around them felt intense, electrified. Asahi could have sliced into it with a knife. 

“Um...okay. One minute.” Asahi slipped away to get Bolt from the Animal Room. 

The brunette lifted the pink mesh carrier from a secure shelf against the wall, looking Bolt in his beady eyes. He could have sworn that the lizard had the same quick personality as Nishinoya did. On his way out, Asahi grabbed a spray bottle of reptile-safe disinfectant, for Nishinoya’s cage setup. 

Asahi made his way back outside to Nishinoya, and smiled kindly. He handed over the little 8 ounce spray bottle of blue liquid, then more carefully, Bolt. 

The look on Nishinoya’s face was gorgeously ecstatic. He lifted bolt straight out of his pink carrier and cradled him against his chest, holding him there and dragging his stubby nails slowly down the reptile’s back. Asahi couldn’t help but to stare at him, feeling one of his soft spots being mercilessly abused by the shorter man. A guy who loved animals. This had to be a worldly punishment. 

“Ahh, Bolt! I can’t fucking believe that stupid bird, beating you up like that! I’m so, so sorry. But you’re so cool, you’re such a fighter! I bought you a tub of waxworms for when we get home, you’re in for such a treat! I’m gonna take such good care of you…” He was talking soothingly, quietly, sort of like on the phone. Nishinoya had already set down every other belonging he had to hold his pet in his arms, kissing the top of his scratched up head kindly. “I swear to god, that stupid guy Hinata won’t hear the end of this.” 

Asahi just kept on staring. His heart was swelling up by the second, and he knew his face must be the most mushy, embarrassing expression in the world. Sweet, gentle, caring, excitable Nishinoya. Who loved his pet lizard, who called him at night. Who wanted to talk to him. Asahi dragged a hand down his own face, feeling the burning heat beneath it. This was positively the worst. 

Nishinoya looked up at him, his own face blooming pink, as his smile turned wobbly and embarrassed. “Um, uh, so. This is...ah. A little bit embarrassing.” He flashed his white canines anyways, and Asahi could only shake his head. 

“No...I...I’m glad you care about him so much.” He said softly, swallowing around a sandpapery tongue. “It...I’ll have Suga write up your expenses.” 

“Oh, yeah! Right, uhh...hold on.” He positioned Bolt to sit on his shoulder by himself, holding him steady while using his right hand to sign papers and pull out his wallet from his cargo shorts. And after all that was done, Nishinoya looked up at Asahi with a pair of big caramel eyes. “So...It’s still okay if I call you tonight, right?” He asked, not even blinking. 

“O-oh, yeah. Um, sure.” He smiled, and fidgeted for a minute. Maybe he wouldn’t hate it so much now, knowing a little more about who was on the other end of the line. 

“Cool, awesome! Okay! I’ll talk to you...you know when. And I’ll tell you about Bolt, too. Should I clean his cuts tonight?” 

“Ah, probably. We cleaned him up this morning, but it never hurts to be extra careful. Make sure to clean out his tank before you put him back, alright?” 

“No worries! I did a shit ton of research over the past couple days. It’s already done.” He grinned, which pulled Asahi’s heartstrings right along with him. 

“I’m sure Bolt feels very lucky, then.” Asahi responded, and he watched Nishinoya turn pink. 

“Oh, well...I let him get all beat up in the first place! It’s the least I could do, right?” If anyone could detect guilt in a voice, no matter how smoothed over it was, it was Asahi. 

“Sometimes, things just happen. You can’t hold yourself accountable all the time. I’m sure that you wouldn’t have put him in a dangerous situation by your own free will at all, ever.” He felt lame for saying it, but it was the truth. 

Nishinoya brightened up considerably. “You’re a lot harder on yourself than you are on anybody else,” he laughed. “But thank you. I’ll see ya, Asahi.” He packed Bolt back up into his carrier, before giving Asahi one last meaningful look, and walking off to his car. Asahi’s eyes didn’t leave him, and Nishinoya waved to him from the smoldering parking lot. He hopped into his truck, pulling away slowly. What was Asahi going to do about this? What would he label this new thing they kept? 

Sugawara’s voice sliced through the electric haze that Asahi was stuck in. “Don’t act like that wasn’t a thing. I’m not even going to beat around the bush this time, Asahi. I know he hit every single base for you, especially with that whole thing about reuniting with his lizard.” 

Asahi flushed red. “U-um, what? I don’t know what you mean,” he mumbled nervously, eyebrows knitting together. “Besides, even if I did, what could I even offer him? I’m just me, and you said yourself that he’s a good influence on me, s-so…obviously, I would just drain him.” 

Sugawara eased into a sort of smile that only he could procure. “Oh, Asahi,” he sighed, and it made him feel like he was talking to his mom. “You’re sweet, and caring, and wonderful, and you’re just as valuable as he is. And he _likes_ you! As he should.” 

The brunette retreated, his cheeks flushing evermore. This was incredibly embarrassing, and this kind of pressure that Sugawara was laying on him was making him flighty and irritated. “I, um, have to go and sort through a couple files. Make some phone calls. And I don’t...I don’t _like_ him. He would be stupid to like me and I would be stupid to like him. 

Suga only sighed, and nodded. He procured a weak smile, otherwise going back to tapping away at his computer. *** 

Eight forty-seven, was when the secretary phone started to ring. Asahi picked up on the third ring, still apprehensive from what Sugawara has said to him. 

“Asahi,” Nishinoya said gently from the other telephone. His line sounded staticky, like he was outside. 

“Hey,” Asahi responded, knowing well that he didn’t sound half as frigid as he used to. “How’s Bolt?” 

He asked. “Good! Really good. I cleaned his cage a second time before I put him in, and loaded him up on waxworms and other good stuff. His wounds got cleaned, too. He’s sleeping now. And, um...I got after my roommate pretty good, too.” 

He could imagine Nishinoya doing that. It sounded about right. “Well, good.” It was Nishinoya’s turn to ask a question. That was how conversations went, right? So Asahi waited patiently, obediently, like a dog. 

“How did today go? Anything interesting?” Nishinoya sounded like he’d settled down wherever he was. 

“Yeah, um, actually. I finally figured out what was wrong with this turtle that we’ve been keeping. He has a tumor, on his leg. I thought maybe it was MBD, but it was a tumor. Thankfully, it was benign, so I took care of it pretty fast." 

“Woah, throwing terms out there that I literally don’t understand at all. Asahi, what the hell is MBD? You kinda hafta dumb it down for me, if you couldn’t tell.” 

Asahi hummed in confusion, the tips of his ears pinking. “Metabolic bone disease?” 

“Ohhh, right, right! Okay, I know that. Just took me a sec.” He laughed lightly, the tinny noise curling up through the phone receiver. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize,” Asahi replied kindly. It was his turn to ask a question now, wasn’t it? “Do you have any other pets?” 

“Huh? Oh, nah. Bolt is the only pet I need. He’s basically like a dog, and a best friend, and a super cool lizard, all in one. Total catch. What about you, Asahi?” 

“No, I don’t have any pets. I think that taking care of all of the animals here is my substitute. I have lots of pets, in a way.” “Ahh, that makes sense, you’re like a teacher.” Nishinoya laughed, and Asahi found himself smiling along. “Yeah, that’s cool. Do you ever get any days off?” 

“Actually, I get Sundays off. We’re technically closed on Sundays, but really, we have people come to take care of the animals and manage them for a few hours in the morning and night. It kind of is me, usually. I guess I get worried that anybody else will mess it up.” 

“Wow, you’re so responsible! But it isn’t good to work yourself so hard, you know? What do you do in your free time?” Nishinoya had broken the pattern, and Asahi’s fingers dragged slowly down the desk, agonizing how he had just received the motherly, caring words of somebody who simply didn't approve of his lifestyle. 

“Um, well...I go grocery shopping. Sometimes I go out with my coworkers, work out, read.” He paused for a moment, hoping he didn’t sound too boring. Hoping his free time occupations sounded valid enough to impress the person on the other end of the line. “What do you do for work?” _Stop talking about me, please._

Nishinoya laughed nervously. “I’m gonna sound so totally lame, but I work two part-time jobs. I coach kids with volleyball at a school nearby, and I work at my family’s restaurant. But I don’t do anything on most of Saturday and all of Sunday.” 

Asahi hummed. He had just felt the same way, though more so about his free time. He supposed that it made sense that Nishinoya would find something boring about normalcy, things that didn't show a direct punch of action. “That isn’t lame. I played volleyball in high school.” 

“Ohh, no way! So did I!” Nishinoya laughed. “I wonder if we ever played against each other.” 

“That would be sort of funny, wouldn’t it?” He replied, and smiled down at his free hand, flexing his knuckles absentmindedly. He briefly had to wonder whether or not they had seen each other in high school. What would be different today if they had connected back then, instead of just now? 

“Yeah! I guess high school was a pretty fun time for me. It was one of the most social points of my life.” 

Asahi thought back to his time in high school. Anxiety, homework, metaphorical imprisonment. Between dealing with the rumors spreading around about him due to his appearance coupled with figuring out his sexuality, it was a hellish three years. 

“What about you?” Nishinoya asked, and Asahi could hear apprehension toeing at the telephone lines because of the silence that Asahi was stringing along. He figured that Nishinoya must not be good with handling silences. But then again, these new silences were not the comfortable kind. 

“Oh, uh...I-I guess it was alright for me.” Asahi replied, and winced at how weak his response was. “Liar,” Nishinoya quipped, and Asahi winced. The words weren't harsh or derogatory, but of course Nishinoya knew. He had to, didn't he? “U-um...maybe…?” He wasn’t sure that he wanted to delve deep into his high school trauma right now. His Clonazepam was beginning to wear off, the haze previously smothering his disorder thinning like ice. 

“You don’t have to talk about it, just saying. But my high school years weren’t as good as I would like to think, either.” Nishinoya said, voice soft and velvety in the crackly receiver of Asahi’s landline. “So if you ever do want to talk about it, I would really like to listen. And I’ll tell you about me, too.” 

Asahi searched for his words. He was always slow to responding to things like this, never quite knew what to say. How could somebody promise to put their feelings out on the table like that? “Thank you. That really means a lot to me, Noya.” He settled on that. Safe, true, soft. 

“Don’t mention it, Asahi. Something tells me you don’t talk about your feelings all that much.” Um, okay. Hard blow...but he was right. And Asahi felt that he was in debt to trade back something emotional, now. 

“I guess you’re right,” Asahi said softly. “Hey...where are you right now?” He didn't want to sound too desperate to change the subject. 

“I’m on the steps of my apartment. Watching the fireflies...my roommate has his boyfriend over. He’s kind of a bummer.” Asahi laughed a little bit, despite himself. “I see. Is he staying the night?” Sweet, sweet distractions. Nishinoya was easy conversation, he realized. 

Nishinoya sighed blearily. “Ugh, yeah.” He responded, and Asahi smiled, just a ghost. 

“Sorry. They aren’t really respecting your common shared space, I guess.” The brunette replied. 

Nishinoya huffed, a puff of static coming through the receiver. “No, they’re not. And I can’t just turn the AC up very high in my room either, because Bolt will get too cold. The ambient temperature will dip too much, so I have to listen all night to...whatever they do in the other room.” 

Asahi chuckled low in his chest, his eyelids drooping a little. He was getting a little sleepy, himself. Speaking of that... It was 9:23. He could make it to the stop if he hurried at 9:30. 

“Oh, you have to go soon right?” Mind reader. “Uh, yeah, I do,” Asahi replied softly, watching the desktop clock turn to 9:24. Suddenly, he was thinking back to Suga’s words. “Um...wait.” 

The line went quiet, before he could hear a small, “yeah?” 

“My number. My...cell. If you want to, uh, I-I mean, well,” he cut himself off, fingernails digging into his palms as to stop himself from talking any more. 

“Oh, yeah! Please!” Nishinoya said excitedly. “Let me get my notes open.” There was some shuffling around for a moment, tinny clicking. “Okay, ready.” 

Asahi paused. “Okay.” He recited the number, before pausing for a moment. “So... I don’t want to keep you.” 

“I’ll text you. Or...call you?” Nishinoya said hurriedly. 

“Both are okay,” Asahi replied, surprised at his own response. “Ooh...okay.” Nishinoya was probably grinning, himself. Asahi could hear it. 

“Anyways, I’ll see you. Or text you, or hear you, I guess?” 

“Okay,” he said, checking the time. “I...I’ll look forward to it.” 

“Me, too.” 

_Click._

Asahi felt good. He tried actively not to think about what had just transpired, or that he had just initiated an advance. As he set the phone into the receiver, he gathered his things, and made his way out the door. Asahi locked it up behind him, and kept walking. He would keep his phone on that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! my tumblr is slug-juice in case you’d like to send me a message. :^)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m sorry in advance for the weird double-spacing issue in this chapter! it doesn’t happen in the next one or the previous, so i’m not quite sure what happened. either way, thank you for reading!

***  
Once Asahi made it home, he plugged his phone into the wall charger as fast as he could. He didn’t want it to die on him, with the possibility of...a text, from Nishinoya.

  
Five minutes rolled by, slow and torturous and _embarrassing._

  
_Bzzt_. Asahi picked up the little metal device. “this is asahi right???”

  
“Yes,” Asahi replied, and pulled a chair up to the desk.

  
“oh good lol” “how was the train?” and a final “:)” made their way across Asahi’s screen.

  
Asahi tapped his reply out. “Mostly empty. is the situation with your roommate any better?”

  
And just like that, it occurred to Asahi that he was being selfish. _He_ was a trainwreck. _He_ was a total mess, and _here he was,_ talking to Nishinoya via text, late at night. Why hadn't this thought hit him before? Why not between the three telephone calls, the brief talks with Suga? Especially, why not in the moments of watching him cradling Bolt in the waiting room, surrounded by others, but falling away from everybody else? Sure, he had felt inadequate, but not selfish for taking up Nishinoya’s time.

  
“lol i think theyre fucking. goddddd so grossssss,” Asahi could practically hear Nishinoya’s voice. He didn’t deserve to. He didn’t deserve a friend like Nishinoya, he would only drain him. Now that he was opening up to the idea of this friendship working out, all he could think about were his possible pitfalls.

  
“Listen to some music,” Asahi sent, his palms feeling sweaty. “Or tell them to be quiet.”

  
“woa, didnt know u were the confrontational type asahi lmao,” came the sizzling reply, and Asahi stared at his phone.

  
“Only when I have to be. You seem like it, though.” He felt his nerves melting away slowly. Nishinoya was reaching out. He wanted to talk. Asahi wanted to talk, too.

  
“uhh thts kinda hot asahi haha…..but ANYWAYS ur prob right ill tell them”

  
Asahi flushed, his eyes wide as they scanned the message over and over again. Hot? There was nothing hot about what he’d just said.  
“brb,” a little blip came up beneath the first text message.  
“I don’t really understand, but good luck.” Asahi sent, and turned away from the marble countertop to heat himself up some rice, grabbing a packet of rice seasoning from his small pantry. He set up the rice cooker and let everything steam, before receiving another couple of texts from Nishinoya.

  
“ya they were fuckin,” “i guess its more annoying cause i totally havent gotten any action in forever lol ugh,” Asahi smiled a little bit at his screen.

  
“My two best friends are a couple. I feel the same way.” He admitted, though embarrassed that he was even _thinking_ of admitting his lack of sexual contact to his counterpart.

  
“right??!! isnt it kinda sickening sometimes smh”

  
“Honestly? Yeah.”

  
Their conversation went on like that for the rest of two hours, until Nishinoya decided to finally tell Asahi to go to bed. And so, he did. Tomorrow was his last day of work before his sweet, sweet semi-day off. While Asahi lay down to sleep, he couldn’t help but think about Noya. He didn’t want to rush their friendship along, content to let it unravel slowly. It was something small, but it was good. Asahi liked to have this collection of moments, strung together like a necklace, cupped cool in his hands.

  
***

  
Asahi rolled over the next morning to his alarm. He turned it off, and picked his phone up off the nightstand. He had a few texts from Nishinoya, dating from this morning. He was too tired to respond, opting to stand up and get ready before answering. He was too afraid of looking stupid.

  
Asahi shuffled out of his boxers and stepped into the shower. He washed his hair, conditioning the curls that sprung around his shoulders. He washed his body, and used the tiny shower mirror to shave, and then he brushed his teeth. Soon enough, he was out of the shower, feeling refreshed and woken up. He dried himself down and pulled on a new pair of boxers, before making his way into the kitchen to take his medicine.  
After Asahi had gotten dressed and all ready for work, with some breakfast on the stove, he chose to finally respond.

  
“Good morning.” He finally answered, and set the little device down, surprised at how fast the reply came.  
“Morning asahi! wyd :)”

  
This was nice. “Making breakfast. I’m going to leave for work soon; what about you?”

  
“heehee i dont have to work till 12,” and then another notification, “gonna watch tv and work out”

  
“Alright. I’ll talk to you later. My breakfast is ready.”

  
“okkk eat up :)))”

  
Asahi left the talk at that, chowing down on his eggs before heading to the train station.

  
***

In a week, Nishinoya and Asahi had spoken on the phone about every day, but never more than daily. The conversations were usually fairly brief, but a top off to Asahi’s nights. They texted throughout the day, though not quite often. Intervals of adrenaline that made Asahi second guess his coffee.

  
Inevitably, the day came for Bolt to be checked out for the final time. Asahi stood leaning against Suga’s secretary desk, chatting with him casually.

  
“Who are you waiting for?” Suga asked, and Asahi pinked. “You always wait in the back.”

  
“Noya,” he replied, eyes drifting to the floor in embarrassment. “He’s on his way now.”

  
Sugawara whistled. “Ahh, I knew that was who you were texting! You’re almost never on your phone, but recently--”

  
The doors swung open, and Asahi was both incredibly happy to see Nishinoya, and embarrassed to be nearly caught talking about him.  
“Asahi! Hi!” He grinned, and Asahi straightened up, a smile working its way onto his face. “Hi,” He responded, and took the carrier in his hands, looking at Bolt and smiling. “He looks good.”

  
“Yeah! Hinata is keeping his stupid bird far away from him, like I said last night. But, uh, yeah! I guess that this is where you check on him, huh?” He flashed a grin, and Asahi smiled back to him with a prickle of shyness. He took Bolt into the back and carefully set the pink carrier down on the table, before lifting the lizard onto the metal tray. Asahi held bolt to the light, checking him over and noting with little surprise what a great job Nishinoya had done taking care of him. He weighed him and put him back into the carrier, then zipped the mesh carrier up.

  
And for a moment, Asahi slowed. Bolt’s nails scritched the mesh cage, his small body curling into somewhere comfortable to be. A choral hum of people and animals whisked around him, muted fuzzily by the weighted metal door of the back room. This was the final visit, one he had anticipated all week. Asahi had lay awake thinking about this day, thinking about seeing Nishinoya just one more time. And now it was done, all of the wanting and wishing and reverie. All of what clearly grew but what Asahi tossed a blanket over. But this was his profession. He had no time to dawdle over a sick, clammy desire to see his new friend over and over, one desire taking his work time up, swallowing his professionalism and practicality to replace it by phone time and anxious pacing by the secretary desk. Asahi steadied himself, repeating the flush mantra that he played over and over again in his head.

  
_This is for the best._

  
He made his way out into the waiting room, handing the little pink carrier to Noya.

  
“Thank you for coming by again. Make sure to take extra care when you take Bolt out.” He said, and Nishinoya clearly understood.

  
“O-Okay! Well, I’ll talk to you later, Asahi! Uh, um, thanks! F-for everything. Bye!” A still beat passed between them, brazen eyes searching cool brown ones, and a new reserve beginning to fizzle away. One more minute, and maybe Asahi would have found something to say. But the silence was beginning to drag on too long to be natural, and a catch of disappointment made itself evident in Nishinoya’s face.

  
He waved and flashed a grin, before making his way right back out the door. Asahi let out a slow sigh, a sad smile presenting itself on his face. Patient, doting on his desires. He watched Nishinoya go.

  
***

  
Asahi had hoped that he wouldn’t fall back into their tryst again. He kept his resolve, a tight grip holding down what he knew must not grow. But despite his efforts, the week went by smoothly, with Asahi and Nishinoya speaking almost constantly, when Asahi wasn’t at work. They spoke every night on the phone. Oftentimes until one or the other fell asleep.  
However, it was the end of that night’s mindless, buzzing phone call that made Asahi come to attention.

  
“I have to go to sleep, now,” Asahi said, his bout of quiet chuckling dwindling down.

  
Um, before you go, actually, hey, maybe I could…” Nishinoya paused for a moment. “Maybe I could take you out for a drink or something to thank you. You know, for, um...for Bolt.” He chuckled under his breath, a little nervous. Asahi felt a flush blossoming down the back of his neck and curling up the tips of his ears. Was it cruel to be riding an animal’s injuries for favor of going out?

  
“Ah...you don’t need to do that,” he replied, “you already paid a vet bill.”  
“Well, really, my roommate paid the vet bill. Besides...even if I was paying the vet bill...I would really like to take you out for a drink, anyways. Or maybe coffee, if that’s more your style.”

  
Asahi paused, toying with a long spring of curly hair. His heart twisted up in his guts, the quiet, dim light of his apartment leaving him feeling kind of naked, with only one other human tied to him by some pen-drawn signal waves. “Um...are you…” he managed out softly, before being interrupted by a babble of tinny noise from the other end of the phone.

  
“You...you don’t have to! I’m sorry, I just, ahh,” he laughed pitifully from the other end. “I should have waited, or maybe I shouldn’t have assumed you, uh, wanted to go anywhere with me…”

  
The wisps of doubt in Nishinoya’s voice incited panic, and Asahi found his mouth working before his brain could stop him. “I-I do! I mean, well...um, yes. I guess that is what I mean. And I...I’m just…” he paused, searching for the right words in the humid, lightning-bug prone air around him. “It caught me off guard, a little. Is all.”

  
Asahi could hear the smile return to Nishinoya’s face. “O-oh! Well, hey! That’s kinda what I’m good at, so. No surprise there.”  
Asahi breathed out a chuckle. “I see,” he said, before biting his lip and sitting back.

  
“So...is that a yes?” Nishinoya’s voice seemed smaller, a burning hot thread of lightning now instead of a boom. The whisper of words cracked through Asahi all the same.

  
Asahi swallowed down the lump in his throat. “Yes. It’s a yes,” he said softly.

  
“You’re off tomorrow, aren’t you? Can we go out to lunch, maybe?”

Nishinoya asked hopefully, and Asahi smiled at his ceiling.

  
“Yes. Where?” He responded.

  
“Well, I was thinking about this small restaurant that I know. It’s a cafe, mostly. But it has food, too.”

  
“Ah, okay. I’ll be looking forward to it...just send me the time and place tomorrow morning, please.”

  
“I’ll do it, then, Sleep well, Asahi. Goodnight.” He mumbled into the receiver, and Asahi could just tell that the smile hadn’t left his face. How could somebody possibly be so excited to see him?

  
“Sleep well.” The brunette smiled, and he felt like in that moment, they were the only two people in the whole wide world.

  
_Click._

  
***

  
It had been a long time since Asahi had had such a runaround deciding what to wear. He Picked through his closet, asking himself if he should dress casually, or if this really was a date, like he had been fearing. He pulled out a pair of nice jeans from his dresser, before laying a few shirts down across his bed. He decided on a well-fitting flannel, and laced his boots up to match soon after. Then, he made his way to catch the train. After a bit of fussing, he decided to tie his hair halfway up in a samurai style, his hair tendrils of inky brown, wurling down his shoulders.

  
Once Asahi had finished checking up on the animals at the office, He sat down in Sugawara’s chair, waiting for Nishinoya to come and pick him up. In about ten minutes, a red Western model truck pulled up outside, obviously old and worn-looking. Asahi got up and stepped outside, smiling shyly at Nishinoya.

  
“Hey, wow. You look good, Asahi.” Nishinoya exhaled, and unlocked the door, his smile spreading across his face. Asahi felt the tips of his ears get hot.

  
“Thank you, so do you.” He said, looking Nishinoya over. A pair of baggy-ish jeans, cuffed at the bottoms. A belt, some western band shirt, and a pair of sneakers. Asahi wasn’t lying.

  
“Aw, jeez! I tried,” he laughed, and Asahi had to smile. He felt the sentiment. “It’s kinda crazy to see you in person, you know? Like, not just on the phone, or while there are a bunch of other customers around. We can just hang out, now.”

  
Asahi laughed nervously. “You sound like you’re about to try and murder me,” he mumbled, causing Nishinoya to burst out laughing. Asahi couldn’t help but turn his head around, wanting to-- _needing_ to watch the explosion of feelings that Nishinoya was showing off.  
His eyes closed all the way and his head tipped back. The truck was rocking just a little, and their resident tin box filled with laughter, making Asahi feel like he was in a ferris wheel. He forgot to blink. This wasn’t the gusty flurry he had heard on the phone, or the quiet buzz of capital letters on his screen. This was real, this was _I can’t get enough of you._ Undiluted magic. Asahi’s stomach was in knots.

  
Nishinoya looked over as his laughter died down, his eyes falling from crinkes to wide saucers. He just stared back, huffing just a little from the giggling. There was still a smile on his face. “I’m not gonna kill you,” he said softly, finally.

  
Asahi smiled warily, thinking ‘ _Right now I’d probably let you, if you wanted._ ’

  
He only replied with a quiet hum, before slowly buckling his seatbelt.

  
The car was filled with a soft and palpable warmth all the way to the coffee shop. Nishinoya’s hand was resting in the half-seat between them. It was the right one, with the blue vein snaking through its plains like a river. Asahi felt his own hand twitching. He rested it tentatively down on the grey material of the carseat, his pinky sidling up against Nishinoya’s own. It was terrifying and juvenile.

  
Nishinoya’s eyes jumped wide for just a minute, sending Asahi into a perilous three seconds of doubt and embarrassment that sent a cold shock through his stomach. Had he misread the situation entirely?

  
His mind grinded to a halt when he felt a smaller pinky curl carefully over his own. Asahi’s heart was thundering in his chest, and he stared down at their digits. He didn’t speak, their fingers linked silently, and all their late night conversations and laughing connected through the contact. Asahi both thanked and cursed every red light they had to stop at, and the fact that Nishinoya was driving just a little under the speed limit. He wouldn’t have thought of Yuu as the type of guy who would drive below the limit...maybe above it.

  
Once they got to the cafe, Nishinoya parked slow. He looked up at Asahi and smiled shyly, hand slipping over the other’s. Another one of their own personal brand of charged silences.. He ran his thumb over Nishinoya’s first couple knuckles, squeezing the digits before just watching the other man, waiting for him to move first. Yuu sighed after a few more seconds, popping open the ferris wheel seal and slipping out of the car. Asahi’s hand felt cold. He was too afraid to speak, not wanting to ruin the moment.

  
It was after Asahi had walked into the cafe, Nishinoya holding the door, that one of them spoke.

  
“So...ah. I don’t really know what kind of drinks you like. But the menu is pretty extensive, and the food is really good.” Nishinoya said, and smiled up at Asahi. He looked almost appreciative of him, and Asahi really couldn’t help but feel that Nishinoya’s kind eyes were misplaced. Like Asahi was a wrong number text that had just gone on for weeks now.

  
“Ah, alright, thank you,” Asahi replied, and looked at Nishinoya with a kind gaze, before he stepped up to the counter. He ordered a panini and a black iced coffee, before he sat down at a table towards the back. Nishinoya ordered his food, and Asahi waited for him to join their table.

  
The cafe was fairly empty, and smelled like baked goods and coffee. Nishinoya’s bright eyes were trained on him, and Asahi looked right back. He smiled, and started off with what they started with on the phone.

  
“How has your day been so far?”

  
Nishinoya smiled in equalized recognition. “It’s been alright. Hinata teased me about coming to see you. Said my truck is a piece of shit,” he laughed. “But I don’t care.”

 

  
Asahi laughed. “I don’t even have a car...I guess you already know that, but still. At least you have one.”  
Nishinoya laughed. “I think you’re pretty admirable for that, in this day and age, Asahi. It’s hard to get around without one, especially since you’re rich.”

  
“I’m not _rich_ ,” Asahi laughed, his head tipping back as he chuckled. “I’m putting it all into savings.”

  
“Then you’re rich in knowledge. That’s my Asahi,” he winked, but Asahi blinked at that. _His_ Asahi. He had never really considered _belonging_ to someone. Or rather, belonging _around_ someone.

  
Their food was called soon enough, and Asahi hopped up to get it. He checked inside the little red baskets and handed Nishinoya the sandwich that clearly wasn't his, along with his drink. He sat down and started to tuck in, a little nervous to be eating in front of Nishinoya. He tried to order the least messy-looking item on the chalkboard menu, but he could still inexorably look bad.

  
“Hey, they mess up your order?” Nishinoya piped up, and when Asahi looked over at him, he couldn't help the ghost of a smile that broke his staring contest with his sandwich. Nishinoya’s mouth was full of food, and he had a glob of some condiment on his shirt.

  
“Ah...no.” he paused for a moment. “Actually, I was nervous about being a messy eater in front of you,” he admitted, and immediately regretted saying that. What if his counterpart thought that he was getting a dig in on him? He barely had time to finish that thought, because as soon as Nishinoya had processed what Asahi was saying, he was laughing hard. Asahi watched in rapt admiration, before falling into shy laughter himself. The dexterity of Nishinoya’s boisterous racket caused the eyes of many to be drawn to them both. Asahi withered a little.

  
“You were afraid to be messy in front of _me_?!” Nishinoya giggled loudly, still grinning gleefully. “Aw, holy shit! Asahi, you gotta lighten up! I’m, like, the messiest eater around!”

  
Asahi fell into a soft chuckle. “That doesn’t matter…” he wondered quietly.

  
“Exactly! So it damn well doesn’t matter to me!”

  
Well. That did make sense. Asahi smiled to himself. “Alright...fine.” He said, and looked up, biting his lip. He picked up a half of his sandwich, taking a bite of it and forcing himself to think about something else. He stared at Nishinoya, who swallowed down a mouthful of food before beginning to speak.

  
“So, on my way here, I saw this dog, right?” Asahi nodded, “but it was totally huge! Like, it had these fuckin’ muscles and shit! It was on a chain, it was a pit bull I think. How can a dog be buffer than me?!” That caused Asahi to laugh quietly through his nose.

  
“You shouldn’t compare your muscles to a dog. You look good how you are.” Shit. Asahi didn’t know much about dating, but he was pretty sure that he wasn’t supposed to say anything about his date’s muscles. Well, not yet? If it was a date? Maybe if it wasn’t a date, the rules were different?

  
But his counterpart seemed to lack that thought process. Or if he didn’t, he was sure not to show it. Nishinoya pinked at the ears and neck. “Aw, you think so? Well...if it’s coming from you, then I guess I must be pretty good looking, right?” He flashed a blue ribbon grin, and Asahi felt his brain blow a little circuit. Oh, no.

  
“I think anybody would tell you that you’re attractive,” he replied, and the ball was in Nishinoya’s court again.

  
Nishinoya exploded in a flush of embarrassment. “U-uh, but, you’re so...you’re _hot_ , dude!”

  
Asahi stilled, another three circuits blowing in his brain. He was silent for a minute, mind whirring double time to try and catch up to what Nishinoya had just said to him. “I-I mean, I don’t think I would go that far, um, but thank you…”

  
Nishinoya looked like he wanted to argue, and Asahi was very glad that he didn’t. “Well...whatever, Asahi. You can’t change my mind.” He waved his veined hand in the air, his eyes falling closed in self-indubitability. Asahi supposed that he really couldn’t.

  
***

  
After lunch, Asahi and Nishinoya made their way back into the truck. There had been a few more compliments, mostly from Nishinoya’s end, toeing the line of flirtation and falling into the usual rhythm of their talks on the phone. It was as if the training wheels were off, the phone calls safe and masked from expression and visible thought processes.

  
“So,” Nishinoya peeked up at Asahi, hands gripping the wheel. “Today was really nice. Do you...think we could hang out again? Like, soon?”

  
Terrifying. Nishinoya had just set him up to make a move, and a plan. Asahi nodded, and thought for a moment. “Dinner? I can pay,” he asked quietly, and Nishinoya nodded, grinning.

  
“You don’t have to pay for everything. But pick the place, and the time, and I’ll drive us there.”

  
“I’ll do it,” He replied. “Sunday’s alright?” He asked, and Nishinoya simply nodded. “Okay. I think...well, is a bar okay?”

  
“A bar? You’re really full of surprises! But, yeah, a bar is totally fine with me!”

  
“Then a bar is where we’ll go,” he said. “Let’s just go to the one we go to for work...I’ll text you the details.”

  
Noya nodded his head and smiled at Asahi, starting up the truck. All Asahi could do was wonder why somebody as packed full of intriguing personality as Nishinoya wanted to spend time with him. It had previously occurred to him that Noya simply felt _bad_ for him, opting to continue contact instead of drift away in fear of letting himself feel like a bad person. It wouldn't be the first time.

  
“Hey, you look upset.” Nishinoya said, knowing better than to simply take a guess at what was wrong. He waited patiently and looked at Asahi, who suddenly felt like an insect under a microscope. Maybe Nishinoya was sticking around just to watch him squirm. To practice exacting power on someone whose heart was throngs weaker than his own.

  
“U-um...it's just my stomach, is all. Nothing’s wrong.”

  
“Liar.” Nishinoya always said that when Asahi bluffed about something personal. “You...I want you to know that you can tell me stuff. I like you. I want to know about you. And I hope I can earn your trust, because I know you're sad a lot, or you worry a lot, at least. I want to help make your life…” He flubbed for the words for a moment, “...not as hard to deal with.” And he offered Asahi a kind, soft smile. “I’m invested in you now.”

  
Asahi stared at Nishinoya. He was terrified. He was doubtful. He was enthralled. He didn’t know he could feel so many conflicting emotions at once. “I-I...okay. I’m sorry,” he said, and bit his lip. His hands felt sweaty, and he didn’t know quite what to do with them. “I-I, uh. I’ll tell you, eventually. But you might have to wait...I don’t know if that’s okay with you.” There was a humming pause, before Nishinoya’s features set into a decided smile.

  
“I’m more than willing to wait, if it’s you.” Nishinoya replied, and gave him what was possibly the most meaningful smile in the world.

  
Asahi flushed and nodded, his head moving slowly, like it was underwater. “Please, tell me if you ever...uh. If there’s anything you want to talk about. I’ll do my best to help. And listen.”

  
“That means a whole hell of a lot to me, Asahi.”

  
He pulled out of the lot, both hands on the wheel. They were silent the whole time back to the veterinary office, Asahi milling the encounter over and over in his mind, trying to analyze and overanalyze it until it was a well sifted through pile of mush. It felt impossible to turn over all the way. There were so many different variants and strings to this day. What was going to happen between them? Asahi wanted this. Asahi wanted to be able to tell him what was on his mind. He was just so _scared._

  
“Asahi. Can I go in with you?” Nishinoya asked when they pulled up to the clinic. The lot was empty, and the sky was dimming. “I won’t mess up anything, okay? Promise!”

  
Asahi nodded. “Sure...why not?” He responded, and hopped out of the truck, closing the rusty red door behind him. He made his way over to the clinic door, and unlocked it, letting Nishinoya inside. He looked at the dark room of the clinic, and listened to the soft animal noises coming from the back. He wasn’t used to having somebody else open up the shop with him, or check the animals. He felt warm. He felt like saying it.

  
“This is the first time I’ve ever had anybody else come in with me to open up or check on things.”

  
“Aw, shit, really?” That’s really cool, Asahi!” Noya grinned up at him, and Asahi nodded a little.

  
“Yeah, I think so, too.”

  
Asahi made his way to the Animal Room, letting Nishinoya examine all of the critters and their names. Once Asahi was sure that everything was in order, he moved to the back room, with Nishinoya in tow. He fixed the air temperature down to 70, and fiddled with the lights. And suddenly, he felt a small hand on his forearm.

  
“Hey.” Nishinoya whispered, and he was...wow. He was close. Asahi swallowed.

  
“H-hi.” He responded, and let his hand rest on the temperature knob, staring at his newest friend and confidant.

  
“I’m really glad you spent your day off with me. I had a lot of fun,” he whispered, and shuffled a little, sneakers scuffing against the polished tile floor as he positioned himself in front of Asahi.

  
Asahi was frozen in place. He stared at Noya with big eyes, nodding a little.

  
Nishinoya placed both hands on each of Asahi’s arms, his thumbs brushing over the golden tan skin of them. “And, um...I want you to know you’re the only person I want to do this kind of stuff with. Just in case you were wondering.” He peeked up at Asahi, who was still frozen in place.

  
His mind was frozen. Nothing was going through it, failed connections in his mind, confusion, fear. Anxiety, anticipation? Nausea.

  
Nishinoya seemed to be caught in thought for a moment, before he made up his mind. “I’m gonna...I don’t think you’re totally comfortable with this situation. And that means that you’re definitely not gonna be comfortable with what I wanted to do next.” He smiled resignedly, and pat Asahi’s arms. “I can’t be selfish like that. Sorry...I think I should take you home now, huh?”

  
Asahi finally managed to speak. “U-um...truthfully, I don’t really know what you wanted to do. My apartment is sort of far away, and i wouldn’t want to bother you with the gas prices. It’s not personal, though! I promise!”

  
Nishinoya looked a little weathered now. “Uh...I feel totally stupid now,” he laughed, and covered his face with his hands. “I probably look like an idiot. Cornering you in a supply closet, assuming you...I assumed a lot of stuff, didn’t I?”

  
Asahi stumbled over a string of nervous words, before resigning himself to the momentary pocket of silence. Nishinoya looked like how Asahi he felt. And as much as he wanted to push Nishinoya away, tell himself it was for his own good instead of owning up to the fact that he was simply too scared to get better and stick up for himself and his feelings, now wasn’t the time to make that choice. He cared too much about Nishinoya than to let himself vanish.

  
“No, you...I’m just really dense. I’m not ready to..” he had to be brave, he had to grab the wisps of _whatever_ that were floating around them. “I feel happy that you aren’t like this with anybody else. But I need you to wait, for me to be able to be...who you need.”

  
Nishinoya came right back to life, and grinned at him. Blinding, liquid luminosity. “Okay, then. Thank you for telling me. I’ll be waiting for you, Asahi. Always.”

  
***

  
Asahi got onto the train with a warm, heavy feeling in his chest. He and Nishinoya had packed it up pretty soon after, and Noya had gotten into his truck and drove Asahi to the station. He wasn’t resentful, or disappointed. He seemed pleased, maybe, and the brunette wondered if he could ever recall anything like this going in his favor. He’d never controlled the pace before. It felt good. Boundaries, once put up, were good. Asahi was used to breaking down his own walls to please others, consequently being trampled all over.

  
“Lucky Dog Pub. Is 6 good? Saturday night?”

  
“6 is more than good :)”

  
“Okay.” Asahi sent the text, before sending one more. “:)”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! if you would like to send me a message, my ao3 tumblr is mint-ao3


	3. Chapter 3

“Do you think he was gonna kiss you?!” Sugawara gasped, a delighted grin on his face as he leaned in. “Maybe I should hang mistletoe in there,” he said, and admired how positively red Asahi was becoming.

Asahi shrugged. “I-I don't really know...but I just told him I wasn't ready for it. I need to learn how to talk to him about stuff first.”

“Well, yeah. I’m not gonna be the one to rush you into things, and it seems like he isn't, either. But from what it sounds like, he seriously has your best interest at heart, and saying you’re going to open up is just half of the solution. Doing it is the harder part.”

Asahi nodded, and sighed. Nishinoya _wanted him_. For some reason, he wanted him to the point of waiting to kiss him, to the point of still talking to him even when his flaws came into the limelight. In fact, Nishinoya talked about them like he knew about them all along.

“I’ll think about it some more,” Asahi sighed.

“I know,” Suga laughed, “I don’t blame you.”

***

Asahi’s week rolled by aimlessly, meeting the eyes of many an animals alike. His phone calls with Nishinoya continued, and their talks were warm. Soft and quiet, Constant. Asahi forced his brain into submission and compliance. He spoon fed himself the idea that Noya wanted to talk, that every text and every call was just proof that he was wanted. It was difficult, unbelievably so.

***

“Of course your go-to bar for work is named ‘Lucky Dog.’” Nishinoya grinned, as Asahi hopped into the Ford.

“Well...we’re an exotic vet place, so maybe it would be better suited as something like ‘Lucky Lizard.’”

“Ehh, but that sounds like ‘leaking your lizard,’” he laughed.

“I don't even know what that means,” Asahi shrugged, and grinned. Nishinoya only laughed and shook his head.

“Of course you don’t. How was your day?” He grinned, and Asahi had to smile a little at that. He knew There was no malice behind those words. Things had been smooth over the past week, staying up together late at night or texting each other when anything quite interesting happened.

“It was alright...very busy,” he said softly. “That parrot keeps getting rocks stuck in his stomach. Remember the one I told you about before? He came back a third time today with a paperclip in his stomach and we had to cut him open again. His owners really need to watch him more, or pick up what he's eating.”

Nishinoya chuckled delightedly. “Maybe he just wants to see you, Dr. Azumane.” He purred. “If I was a bird and my only means of getting to you was to eat rocks, well...I’d have some fucked up teeth, let me just say that.” He grinned, and Asahi smiled a little.

“Don't say that...your teeth aren't worth seeing me.”

“Uh, yeah they fucking are,” he laughed, before settling down just to look at Asahi for a moment. He reached up to push a coil of hair behind his ear, resting his hand on the side of his neck for a minute.

Before Asahi had the time to react, the moment was gone, and Nishinoya’s hand was back on the wheel. Asahi bit his lip and laughed a little, looking down at his lap.

“Well...I’ve learned by now that it’s very hard to change your opinions.” He said quietly.

“Right! So quit trying,” he laughed, and looked fondly at Asahi, before pulling out of the parking lot and driving off in the direction that his phone’s GPS was telling him to.

The two talked comfortably the whole way there, lulled by the street lights and the impending golden hour of summer. Once they arrived, Asahi helped Nishinoya out of the truck. His friend didn’t let go of his arm as they walked inside, and Asahi didn’t mind, at all. He just let it happen. He forced himself not to overthink it.

They sat down on a couple of bar stools, both ordering beers. Asahi was nursing his, and Nishinoya was knocking his own back easily. He was done with his first by the time Asahi was halfway through his own, and he grinned, waiting patiently for Asahi to finish it. Asahi drank faster, his face flushing gradually. Their chatter floated around here and there, Asahi ordering another round of beers for them both.

The end of Asahi’s second beer had him feeling good. He looked over at Nishinoya, interrupting their slow chatter.

“You know...I think now that I’m mildly intoxicated, I don’t feel as scared to talk to you about my feelings.”

“Well...I’m down. I’m always down.” Nishinoya replied, sipping down the remnants of his own beer.

“Okay. I didn’t tell you about high school, remember? When I was in high school, everybody was scared of me. I was this...this huge and scary guy. But the scariest thing was the guys. I dated two guys in high school. And I just let them...let them use me. I let them stomp all over me, right? And they said my feelings were stupid, and they…” Asahi took a deep breath. He felt like a dam had burst. But this was what Nishinoya _wanted_ , wasn’t it? “Once they found out that I wasn’t as strong as I looked, they used me.”

Nishinoya’s face was soft. He scooted his stool closer, closer, until their heat was mingling. “You’re strong now. And you were probably strong then. Just trusting, and too nice.” A beat of silence turned Asahi’s mouth sour.

He sighed. “Why can’t you accept that I have faults? Everyone wants to act like I’m good. Like I’m _normal_. But I’m not either of those things. The doctors started to load me up on pills in high school for a reason.” His eyes rolled their way to Noya’s face.

Nishinoya looked so... _sad_. “Why can’t you accept that there are so many good qualities about yourself? Why can’t you let me show you all of the things that I like about you? When we talk, I just feel _so good._ It’s like I’m high or something, you know? You’re caring, and smart, and funny, and you’re really...you’re an incredible person. So let me make you believe.”

Asahi halved his third beer all the way and turned to the bar with the intention of ordering a fourth. “I just can’t make myself believe the things you think about me. You have the wrong idea, I feel like an imposter. I don’t _deserve_ your feelings, or your time.”

Nishinoya watched him sadly. “I’m not _wrong_. You like me, right? So don’t you trust me? Can’t I make you trust my judgement? I’ll stay as long as it takes, and I won’t drag you around. You aren’t just a joke to me. You’re so much more than...than _anything_.”

Asahi took a sip of his beer and shook his head slowly. His filter wasn’t working well anymore. His head felt heavy and the room took just a little extra time to catch up to his vision. “I want you. I want to deserve to even know you. You’re so, so incredible, and you make me feel like I’m on top of the world whenever we talk.” _I guess you don’t understand as well as I hoped you did._

Nishinoya was staring at him like he was the center of the universe. His beer was finished, the empty caramel bottle resting on top of the bar, but he wasn’t ordering any more. His eyes were latched onto Asahi, and Asahi felt his stare on his skin. “I can’t even tell you how much I wish I had taken you drinking sooner.”

“ _I’m_ the one taking _you_ ,” Asahi slurred a little, and laughed quietly. “ _I’m_ the one with the big paycheck, aren’t I? Nishinoya laughed. “Yeah, yeah. You are.” He leaned on Asahi’s shoulder, smiling at the bar surface. “How do we get home?”

“Train?” Asahi asked, and looked at Nishinoya. “We could stay the night together.” A lull rushed over them both.

“Stay...A-Asahi,” Nishinoya laughed nervously. “We can't do that. I’ll call myself a ride or something from the station.”

“You want to.” Asahi drew his beer to his mouth, gulping more of the bitter liquid down. “Just say yes,” he mumbled, and wrapped his arm around Nishinoya’s back, “I want you to. So take me home with you,” he said, looking at Nishinoya pleadingly. His face and shoulders were hot with intoxication, and the idea of going home without Nishinoya seemed like the worst in the world.

Nishinoya looked like he was having a very, very difficult time deciding. “You...you’re drunk, Asahi,” he said softly, and Asahi shook his head, growing frustrated.

“So? I know what I want for once. I’m not worried. I’m thinking without the factor of my anxiety.”

“I can’t let you. What if you regret it tomorrow morning? What am I going to do if we do something that you regret?”

“I wanted it when I was sober, I want it now.” Asahi frowned at Nishinoya.

“You can’t make this choice for the both of us right now. Let’s talk about it when we’re both totally sober.” Asahi knew he was right. He stopped talking, finally, his stomach full with alcohol. He looked at Nishinoya and let out a soft sigh. Seconds passed. “Okay. You’re right, I’m sorry.” He whispered, and found Nishinoya’s hand with his own free one, holding it in his own.

He yawned, and then burped, and then smiled when Nishinoya failed to stifle a laugh. “I’m gonna be fine. You would hate me if I took advantage of you, and I would hate myself even more. Let’s get you some water.”

Nishinoya ordered Asahi and himself a glass, and made sure Asahi was drinking it down.

“There you go, big guy. When’s the last train?”

“Nine forty-seven,” he mumbled, trying to focus his energy into sobering up as best he could. He wasn’t trying to burden Nishinoya, he just really, really wanted to just spend the night beside him. Asahi wasn’t totally sure if he could get home all by himself.

“Can we walk together the station? I feel too drunk to know about getting home yet. I have to sober up on the train.”

Nishinoya nodded. “Just finish your water, okay? I’ll stay with you on the phone, on your way home.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah. Promise.”

***

The walk to the station didn’t take too long. Asahi was able to sober up a small amount as they walked, Nishinoya’s presence steadying him to the ground. He was so happy to just be alive in that moment. And when they got to the station, Asahi found that it was his turn to make the move.

When they stood under the streetlamp of the lonely train station, Asahi’s eyes were soft, focused on the only person in the world who really, truly mattered in that moment. He pulled Nishinoya in front of him and found his hands, holding them. Nishinoya stared back at him like he meant something, and for once in his life, he really felt like he did. Asahi cupped Noya’s face in his hands, warm and soft and big. He ran his thumbs over his cheeks. “Is it okay if I kiss you, for real this time?”

Nishinoya took a moment to find his words. He looked up at the other man with eyes as wide as saucers, and blinked. “U-um, yeah...It’s okay if you kiss me.”

And the words made Asahi feel strong. He knelt down, his hands fumbling and landing on Nishinoya’s firm shoulders. He felt steady, and right. How could Nishinoya ever say no to him now?

The kiss was warm, quiet, and kind. It tasted like beer and heat and something deeper, more indescribable than that. Maybe it was spit. Asahi found it hard to tell. But this wasn’t like any other kiss he’d ever had, and that was for sure. It seemed to last for minutes, hours, years.

And just like that, it was over. The train was rattling into the station, and Asahi had to slip away slowly. He stared a Nishinoya for a moment. “I want you to know that I’m not as drunk as i was half an hour ago. And I might regret doing this when I’m sober, but only because I liked it so much that I’ll feel guilty for giving myself what I wanted. But I also promise to work on getting over that. Because I like you. I want to be here for you.”

Nishinoya was barely keeping himself together when they hugged tightly for the last time that night. “Call me when you get home, please. Or if you get lost, or if you need me.”

Asahi nodded and smiled. “Okay. Thank you, Nishinoya.” He got onto the train and fumbled with his train card, showing the driver, before settling into his seat. He looked out the window and smiled, waving sleepily at Noya. He mouthed ‘ _good night_ ,’” and then he was gone. Sleepy, drunk, and flushed on the train, but trying his very damndest to stay up.

Once he was home, Asahi pulled up his phone app and pressed on the little icon that held Nishinoya’s grinning face. He had his answer within two rings.

“Hey, Asahi! Did you get home?” Asked the tinny voice on the other line.

“Hi,” Asahi said softly. “I’m home. I feel a little bit better, so I’m going to drink some water and get to sleep.” He paused for a moment. “Thank you for coming out with me tonight. And thanks for kissing me.”

“You’re the one who kissed me first, dummy.” A breathy laugh followed Noya’s voice as he whispered into the phone.

“Well...thanks for kissing back, then.” There was a pause on the other line.

“Anytime,” Nishinoya said, and laughed a little bit more to himself. “Get some water, okay? And go to sleep. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

“Yeah, okay.” Asahi responded, and he heard a final few words before the phone was hung up, though he couldn’t make them out until the phone had been hung up. “Text me in the morning. Goodnight, Asahi.”

_Click._

Sunday morning, Asahi woke up at 10 AM. He checked his phone, greeted by a typical good morning text from Nishinoya, and all the memories of last night came flooding back. Asahi was too exhausted to feel bad or angry at himself, so he texted back with an identical “good morning.”

The response was almost immediate. Asahi wasn’t in the right state of mind to check. He got up and stumbled into the kitchen to take his medicine, before heading back into the bedroom to check his phone.

“how r u feeling?”

“My head hurts a little, but I feel good otherwise. How about yourself?”

“im good. everythin feels fine fr the most part,,,can i call u soon”

“Yeah. Just let me shower first, okay?”

“kay, no worries!! :)” Asahi wandered his way into the bathroom, stepping into the shower to wash off whatever old magic had clung on his skin last night. Not to mention the sweat and smell. He scrubbed his body and conditioned his hair, staring at the wall of the shower. All Asahi wanted was to have been sober. He was glad Nishinoya stopped him, but, well...he was starting to want Noya more and more. Suddenly, he felt like he couldn’t open up fast enough. He was offering his heart and all of his guts up to Nishinoya, wishing desperately to get to know the other man even deeper. Today was a free day for him, except for...shit. The animals. He scrambled to finish the shower, texting Sugawara as soon as he possibly could.

“Please go check on the animals, I’m sorry. I just woke up, had a big night. I’ll fill you in later and I’ll come to see the animals tonight. Sorry again."

The reply came after a few minutes. “So irresponsible lol. No problem”

“Thank you, I’m so sorry.” Then, he opened up the messages with Nishinoya.

“Hey.”

“hey :^)”

“I know this sort of breaks our cycle, but do you want to hang out today?” He paused and sent another. “I understand if you’re tired of interacting with me. I just thought that we could go and get your car or something. And talk.”

“yea sure! im not evr gona get sick of u js :))”

“Js?”

“just saying”

A pause. “wats the plan ? r we gona meet up on the train?”

“Yes. I can order you a ride to the station.”

“naw ill walk no worries. send me the bus schedule fr the station by the harbor n well go from there”

Asahi sent it.

“ok kool. hows the 1 at 1:26??”

“That’s fine. I’ll end up linking up with you at the station by the forest, do you know the one? Stop 4. Take the yellow line. I’ll be able to figure the rest of it out before we meet up.”

“will do asahi! see u at like 2 haha”

“I’ll see you then.”

***

Asahi stepped off of his train to see Nishinoya sitting on a bench waiting for him. He walked towards him, feeling his stomach twisting. This was harder than it was last night, for sure. Nishinoya looked up at him fast, a bright grin splitting his mouth open as he waved. Asahi waved back, and made his way up to the dramatically shorter man.

“Hi there,” Noya said, and no matter how much he was trying to hide it, Asahi saw the nerves. He could pick out worry from a mile away.

“Sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have, um...done that.”

“Why do you say so?” Nishinoya asked him, his eyes wide with curiosity. “I like you. You only shouldn’t have done it if you feel regret about it because you didn’t want it.” Nishinoya telling him what he should and shouldn’t feel was an odd, reassuring guidance.

“Oh. Well…” Asahi thought for a moment. He wanted it then, he wanted it now. He felt a shock at the realization, at the fact that he could kiss Noya again, and again.

Well...maybe. But the consequences wouldn’t be nearly as monumental or destructive as he was worried they would be. Maybe he could even get used to it. “Then I would like to change what I’m sorry for.”

“And what might that be?” Nishinoya was smiling. Endearing and perfect in the afternoon sun. “I’m sorry for getting drunk and being a burden to you.”

Noya laughed. “I didn’t mind it at all. In fact, I thought it was kinda cute. You’re cute, Asahi.”

Asahi flushed down to the back of his neck. “I’m not…” And Nishinoya was staring at him patiently, still smiling. “Thank you.” He corrected himself.

The grin quadrupled in size. Noya hopped to his feet and took Asahi’s hands. “I want to compliment you on about a million more things, but I don’t think your heart can handle it.”

He was right. Asahi might have liked to hear them, too. But he wouldn’t be able to accept them all, carry them in his arms and fists and not drop a single one. He’d get better at it, though. He knew. As long as Nishinoya was around to spoon-feed them to him, he knew.

***

The walk to the bar was relatively brisk. Asahi and Nishinoya talked comfortably, laughing together and walking down to Nishinoya’s truck. And when they were quiet, it was comfortable, and Asahi wasn’t in any rush to break it. Everything was worth talking about. The trees, what was for breakfast, even a particularly large pigeon. And God how Asahi was feeling. It didn’t compare to anything he had ever even come close to feeling before. Sure, the fear and sickness was still there, but it was squashed and small beneath the mass of everything else.

When the smaller of the pair spotted his truck, he burst into the fastest sprint Asahi had ever seen anyone take in his life. He was across the parking lot in three seconds flat, jamming his keys into the ignition and revving up the old truck with the metal door flung wide open. Asahi smiled at him, jogging over lithely.

“So...have you had lunch? ‘Cause I’m kinda hungry over here.” Nishinoya flashed a million dollar grin, and Asahi chuckled.

“Yeah, actually. I could definitely eat.”

And so they did. Within twenty minutes and a phone call, Asahi and Nishinoya had carryout and were eating in the car, sharing containers and laughs.

“Aren’t you worried about dropping anything on the floor?” Asahi asked, and Nishinoya laughed and shook his head.

“Naw. I’ve had this baby since I’ve had a license. She’s seen worse, by far. Plus, I’ll just clean it up, anyways. I don’t mind.” He flashed a grin.

“Ah, okay,” Asahi said, and relaxed back into his carseat, chewing on some noodles thoughtfully.

“Hey...so you told me about yourself a little bit last night. And since then, I’ve been thinking. You never ask anything about me, so I never told you anything. Just got up your ass for not answering me. So I’m gonna start talking about my past. And you don’t have to talk about yours, but I would appreciate it, you know, a lot.”

Asahi swallowed. Oh. Okay. He nodded, turning to watch Nishinoya spill his guts in real time.

“Okay, well. Growing up, I was always sort of a nuisance in middle school. I wasn’t ever invited anywhere. I spent my whole life trying to convince myself that my friends liked me, that I was really ‘in.’ But, I wasn’t.” He smiled bitterly up at Asahi. “I was so lonely, and All I wanted was a group to fit in with. I didn’t care who I had to be. I would’ve worn any mask in the world, just so long as I could look out of it and see friends on the other side.

“But I hit high school, and god damn, let me tell you, everything changed. I joined the Volleyball club, and I put up my best blank slate of excitement that I possibly could. I wanted to fit in, I wanted to be cool. And everyone in that club was so different from anybody else. But they all loved each other, y’know? And they loved me, too. I learned how to really get my shit together through those guys. In fact, my roommate and his boyfriend are a couple of them.” He laughed heartily, and Asahi had to manage a smile back. Lonely in high school, huh? Yeah, he knew a little bit about that.

“High school was really tough for me, too. I think I already told you about a part of it, but...I was so scared to lose anybody, or to let them down. So I just ran away from people. But as soon as I was trapped, no way out, I let people use me. I couldn’t abandon the ones who got in, and I didn’t know who I should have been running from. Sometimes, I’m still scared that I’ll make the same kinds of mistakes.” Asahi said softly, and caught his lip in his teeth, shrugging.

“I hope you don’t run from me. Because I feel…” Nishinoya took a deep, hard inhale. “I feel like you really like me. You’re real with me, you know? You and I…we like each other for who we are.” Nishinoya was spot on, and he knew it. They both knew it.

“Then...I want you to know I feel the same way. Nobody was ever nearly as patient as you are with me. I’m sorry that I am how I am, but--”

“You aren’t any way you should feel sorry about. I like you. I’m here to help you, always. When you call, I’ll come. No matter what.”

Asahi smiled. He felt like giving Nishinoya a reward. An affirmation. “Do you know how I felt when you saw Bolt, when we gave him back to you?” Noya shook his head. “I don’t really know how to describe it, myself. You were so...I guess it was how I really knew I wanted to keep in touch with you. I wanted to let you in. You’re the only person who didn’t have to force their way in, because you were really caring, and patient. I guess that you still are.”

Nishinoya set his food on the dash and scooted closer to Asahi. “Can I hug you?”

The taller counterpart nodded, and Noya wrapped him in a tight hug. He put his spaghetti to the side, and hugged back. Noya was so _small_ in his arms, like a little bird. Asahi buried his head in Nishinoya’s hair, and felt the soft flutter of a kiss on his left collarbone. He sighed in content. This felt so much better than any self-assured safety, because it was with someone else. Because it was with _Nishinoya._

***

Noya pulled up to Asahi’s apartment complex another half hour later, and parked. Asahi stared at Nishinoya with a kind smile. He had organized the takeout food and put it back into the bag it had started in, packets of dipping sauce and utensils and crumpled napkins. Nishinoya drummed his fingers on the wheel.

“Uh, so. For our next weekend thing--date? It’s okay if I call it a date by now, right?”

Asahi nodded. “Date is fine.”

“Cool, cool. Great,” Noya smiled, relieved. “There’s a house party that one of my friends is hosting. He’s a chill dude, and I wanted to take you as my plus-one. If that’s okay with you, of course. I didn’t tell anybody yet, so don’t worry, if you…”

Asahi was smiling. “Yeah, I would...I’d really like that, I mean. I want to go with you. To your party, as your…”

“Date.” Nishinoya finished for him.

“Date.” Asahi confirmed.

“Then I’ll come and pick you up. At around five, is that okay?”

“Yes. I’ll be here.”

Always. He would always be here.

***

Sugawara’s eyes were as big as saucers, and for once, Asahi felt just a little bit smug about it. _That’s right. I’m not a completely lost cause._ No matter How many times Suga acted his very best to seem like he didn’t think that Asahi was, it was still obvious that there was a doubt in his mind. There always would be, maybe. But the doubt was absent in Nishinoya, and that was what mattered. “I’m going to a house party with him, on Saturday night.” Asahi added pleasantly, and hid his smile to the best of his ability.

He was proving Suga _wrong,_ teaching him that he could be _normal,_ happy. Could _make_ someone happy. He loved Sugawara, but he always hated the feeling of sticking one step behind him, all the time. Maybe one day, he’d pluck up the courage to say something about it.

***

The night of the party rolled around relatively quickly, with Asahi fretting over what to wear in front of the mirror for about half an hour. He settled on a band t-shirt and his favorite jeans, recoiling his curls with his fingers for the billionth time that night. He had already chosen not to drink at the party, or he’d maybe have one drink to loosen himself up socially. Tonight was the night that it was all supposed to come together. They’d had their detours, had their pitfalls, and miscommunications. Now, the stars were aligned. Now, Asahi needed to--the brunette jumped as his cell phone went off, Nishinoya’s grinning face flashing on the screen.

“Hello?” Asahi answered the call, cradling his cellphone against his stubble-stippled jaw.

“Hey! I’m here, come on down.” Nishinoya sounded a little winded, possibly as nervous as he was. Or maybe he’d just had a tough time parking. Asahi knew from personal experience that the parking lot of his apartment complex was a hell all of its own kilter.

“Alright, I’ll see you soon.” He hung up and slipped on his shoes, looking at himself in the mirror for the last time that night, before shaking his head resolutely. _Good enough,_ he forced himself to think. Noya wouldn’t stop liking him because of his appearance, right? Asahi grabbed his keys and his wallet and walked out the door.

He made his way down the stairs and smiled kindly at the other man through the window of his red pickup, making his way to the truck and getting in on the passenger’s side.

“You look good, Asahi! Your hair, especially. You’re wearing it down!”

Asahi smiled. “Ah, you said you wanted to see it all the way down, right?”

“Of course! You never disappoint, huh?” He laughed, biting his lip.

“Ah, well, I don’t know if I would necessarily go _that_ far…”

“Well, I would. You’re amazing, Asahi.”

Asahi only smiled, and looked over at Nishinoya. Of course, he couldn’t argue with his date when his mind was made up.

The ride to the party was atmospheric and kind, their laughter floating around the tinny metal capsule that rolled down the highway. Asahi recalled the four other parties he’d ever been to in his life, and Nishinoya documented his own eight-hundred more.

Things felt warm, good. Asahi was happy, and things seemed to be looking up for him. He watched Nishinoya unabashedly, when they came to red lights and Nishinoya caught him, he didn’t look away. He took comfort in the little silences that they cultivated together, welcoming them as their own small, arbitrary nothings. With Nishinoya, everything was something, even if it really was nothing at all.

When they arrived, Noya was the first out of the truck. His thick work boots slapped against the pavement of the road. The house was humming along to something upbeat, something Asahi had never heard before. Noya took his hand cautiously, helping him scoot out of the truck via the driver’s side door. Asahi didn’t let go, skimming his body across the long bench and slamming the door shut to the car as Noya locked it up.

Suddenly, Nishinoya halted their walking. He looked up at Asahi candidly. “Tell me if we have to go, okay? I don’t care if you think that the reason is stupid, and I also don’t care if we leave in half an hour, or even sooner. You are the reason that I came tonight, and you are perfectly allowed to be the reason that I leave.” He smiled earnestly, and Asahi had to smile back. He might listen to that. Noya saw the look in his eye. “Seriously, for real.”

Asahi nodded. “Thank you.” He was going to do his best, anyways. “If it gets to be too much, I’ll talk to you.”

The pair walked inside, and Noya was immediately waving to people and greeting them. He introduced Asahi as his date to everybody who asked (and who didn’t ask). Said date was flustered but generally happy. The music was low and thrumming through the house’s frame, bass palpable deep in Asahi’s bones. Something that would have bothered him before, now fell to the wayside. The two made their way to the snack table and Nishinoya ladled punch into two cups. They made a toast, and when prompted, Nishinoya claimed it was a toast to being in each other’s presence.

Within ten minutes, the pair was seated comfortably on a weathered down couch. Their hands were linked still, speaking calmly to one another in the blurry, colorful haze of the party. Things that should be scary didn’t matter to Asahi when Nishinoya was there to distract him.

“Thank you for coming with me,” Noya mumbled, looking up gratefully. Asahi felt his heart shiver. He nodded.

“Thank you for inviting me. This is...nice, you know?” He had never described a party as “nice” before.  They were on the same page for most of the time, and if they weren’t, they figured out a way to get there.

A couple hours passed, and Asahi and Nishinoya milled around the party. Asahi drifted wherever Noya took him, feeling oddly like a child’s balloon. But he didn’t mind, not when it was Noya on the end of the string. He didn’t think he had ever felt so guiltlessly indulgent to a person before.

He noticed belatedly that the party was drying out. People were going home, alone or together. It was then that Noya hopped up, in a lull of conversation.

“I’ll be right back, okay? Just a sec.”

Asahi nodded, looking up curiously from their game of chess with half the pieces missing. Where was he headed? And would Asahi survive this? He felt a flutter of nerves in his stomach but quelled them down, telling himself that Nishinoya would be back.  Of course he would be back.

In about two minutes, the upbeat music came to a stop. Nobody seemed to notice, except for Asahi. And for a moment, he worried that Nishinoya had caused it, tripped over a wire, or something.

Eventually he watched Noya come out of the other room, no longer having to weave in and out of other young adults with red cups. Only a few remained, and nobody seemed to care when Noya pulled Asahi up wordlessly. His face was red. He looked shy. Asahi had only ever met this Nishinoya once or twice.

New music started to play, and Noya cursed quietly under his breath. He pulled Asahi with him into the kitchen, gloriously vacant and mostly dark, save for a row of small buffet lights tucked beneath a line of cabinets. Asahi stared at Noya, and Noya stared back.

“I don’t think this is going to be as smooth as I wanted it to be,” he laughed honestly, his free hand pressing against the nape of his neck nervously. He blinked, looking up at Asahi. The music was quiet, soft. It didn’t seem like what Noya would be into, but Asahi, well...Asahi liked it.

Soon enough, the truth came spilling out of Nishinoya’s mouth. “I made you a playlist. I was, um...I don’t know. Dance with me?”

Asahi nodded. His eyes were still big, taking a pale hand and lacing their fingers together. He placed Noya’s hand on his shoulder, letting it graze the back of his own neck, touching his hair. He smiled, and it didn’t take them long to find their rhythm.

They melted together, holding each other in the dim kitchen. Asahi didn’t know when he had started to cry, and he really wasn’t able to pinpoint an exact reason as to why. The bodies swayed together, and soon enough, he pulled his head away slow, a serene expression on his face.

“You’re crying?” Noya whispered, tender and soft. Asahi could only nod. Of course, all he wanted to do was agree with Noya. All he was able to do was say yes, yes, yes. Wherever Nishinoya went, he would follow.

Nishinoya wiped beneath Asahi’s eyes, before he kissed him.

Asahi’s eyes fell closed, and his hands looped around Noya’s small waist. He felt wiry arms hook around his neck, and they swayed together pleasantly as they kissed. Asahi moved with his counterpart slowly, feeling their feet shuffling and gliding. Nishinoya was pulling them backwards, and Asahi’s big, clumsy feet followed him. He only stopped when his dance partner hit a surface. Noya was laying against the refrigerator now, his eyes still closed, and Asahi took the opportunity to stick his hands up his shirt. He didn’t quite know what he was doing, but he did what he wanted. He did what he felt like, pertaining to the idea that Nishinoya would find it pleasant, too. Asahi could feel the melting heat of his ribs against his clammy hands, and a drifting thought occurred to him in that moment. He remembered a word he’d heard in his physics class way back in high school: Equilibrium. He recalled all the definitions he’d pored over for his homework.

_E·qui·lib·ri·um, ēkwəˈlibrēəm, Noun: equilibrium. A state in which opposing forces or influences are balanced. A state of physical balance, even a calm state of mind._

Noya was making noise by now. Quiet little curls of sound in the air, against the music. Every single song was the best song he’d ever heard. Asahi was mouthing at his jaw. He pulled away cautiously, scared for a split second that he would Look at Nishinoya and something awful might happen, like he would wake up or something. Instead, all he did--all he could do--was stare in dumbfounded admiration at the little bird that was pinned in front of him. He sighed shakily, and laughed. He felt dizzy and seasick with the most wonderful kind of illness he could ever imagine.

“I guess the playlist wasn’t such a bad idea, after all.” Noya muttered breathlessly, laughing a little under his breath, himself. “Is it okay if we, uh.” He paused. “I didn’t come here planning this all out. I promise. But can we stay the night together?”

Asahi nodded his head and smiled, feeling shaky, quiet. “It never occurred to me that you would do that.”

Noya smiled. “Okay. I’m gonna get the car started. Coming with? Or do you need to stay here and wrap anything up?”

For once, Asahi knew just what to say. “I came to this party for you. I’m leaving for you.” Noya let out a guffaw that dissolved right into the air.

“Come on then,” he breathed, and grabbed Asahi by the wrist, pulling him along. He twisted under the brunette’s arm and made his way right out the kitchen door. Asahi followed; of course he followed. He would follow Noya way further than to a beat up Ford parked along the curb.

The brunette stumbled into the car, and Nishinoya clambered after him. They were kissing again, but now to the tune of crickets and little tree frogs, and the very faint playlist that Nishinoya had conjured, still wafting sweetly from the house. Noya wiggled into his lap, fitting himself like a russian doll in the space between Asahi’s thighs. Asahi held him.

It was a long time before they broke away, looking at each other with split-seam grins on their faces. Asahi took a long look at Nishinoya, before letting him go to slide into the driver’s seat. He huffed and stared at the tin roof, just smiling to himself. Nishinoya’s hand found his own, curling their fingers together. Asahi laced their fingers together firmly, while they drove off into the night.

“Not to invite myself over, but your place is fine, right?” Nishinoya asked.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I can give you directions from here,” Asahi said, and Noya made a soft noise of affirmation. So Asahi provided Noya with the place to go, and Nishinoya followed. Unwaveringly. He was filled with the buzzing nerves of excited anxiety. He rode it, let the feeling take him over.

What felt like hours on the path to Asahi’s apartment complex must have only been fifteen or twenty minutes. They kissed at all the stoplights, just when the fire in Asahi’s stomach was beginning to fizzle down.

One quick peek at Nishinoya’s lap said left no doubt that he felt the same. The arrival to the complex was a celebratory one to say the least.

They clambered up the stairs to Asahi’s floor and snuck into his apartment, fumbling in the dark, touching one another for balance and for fun. Nishinoya broke a kiss off with a soft pop, looking up at Asahi with a glimmer or white teeth in the darkness: a grin. “Doctor Azumane,” he began, “Where is your bedroom?”

Asahi almost couldn’t stand what reaction those words incited within him. He took Nishinoya by the wrist and pulled him down the narrow hallway, opening his bedroom door and thanking god that he’d remembered to wash his sheets and clean his room. As the door was closed and clicked behind them, and Nishinoya was pulling Asahi into the bed, Asahi finally understood how all those romcom characters felt. The searing heat of another person was euphoric, especially if it was the love interest.

***

Asahi had never felt so tangled up with a person. Sunlight hit his face through closed blinds, and a small, mostly naked young man was wrapped up in his arms and legs. The night before had been eventful and late, but their end result really was just hands: clumsy, fumbling. Nothing more than what Asahi could deal with, and Noya didn’t nearly protest.

He looked perfect in the morning light. Asahi stared at his face, his eyelashes and his lips. He was soft, peaceful and dewy. Asahi didn’t wake him up. He just got up carefully, making his way to the kitchen to take his medicine and start some rice, enough for two. He wondered, if his rice cooker could talk, if it would be shocked at the new workload. He stumbled into the bathroom and grabbed a towel from the linen closet, before pausing. He set out a second, pleased with himself for planning ahead. Asahi got into the shower, and heard noise stirring from the other room. For once, he felt good. So, so good.

Walking into a bedroom with a second person in it was new, to say the least. Nishinoya sat in a sea of bedsheets, his hair tousled and his mouth smiling. “Good morning,” he said, and Asahi returned the greeting in kind.

“There’s rice in the rice cooker, and a towel for you in the bathroom. Do you know how to use the shower?”

Noya nodded, and stood up. “I’ll figure it out.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He ambled into the bathroom and Asahi heard the shower turn on, smiling in satisfaction at the fact. Quick learner. _That’s my Nishinoya._

The brunette checked his phone clock, and was immediately glad that Suga had decided to take up the morning routine for him today. He knew he couldn’t do it nearly well enough or on time.

***

Two bowls of tamagoyaki and a shower later, Asahi sat at the table with Nishinoya.

Dressed in one of Asahi’s shirts, he finally spoke up out of his sleep-induced haze. “I never really got around to asking last night, I guess.”

“Hm?” Asahi peered up from a mug of coffee and a small newspaper.

“Well, I’m not all that great at speeches. I kinda had one planned out last night, but I forgot most of it. Anyways.” His cheeks were pink, his eyes downcast and focused on the mirrored pair that resided within Asahi’s skull. “Can we...make this exclusive? I don’t want to rush you if you don’t feel ready...” He mumbled, and Asahi smiled kindly.

“Yes. Of course.” He felt ready. This felt right, and good.

“Well...sweet. I’m officially dating thebest Veterinarian out there.” Noya grinned, and pulled his chair closer. “Hey. You think we could play doctor sometime?”

Asahi blushed, his face red as he looked at Nishinoya in embarrassed surprise. “I-I, hey, now…” Nishinoya only laughed, bright and excited and so happy. And Asahi had to melt in along with him.

***

Asahi sat at lunch, waiting patiently for a certain phone call. He got one every wednesday, always from Suga, always regarding a visitor. It had been this way for months now.

 _Ring, ring._ Asahi picked up. “Hello?”

“You have a visitor. Should I send him in?” Sugawara asked, and Asahi could hear the boyish smile on his face.

“Please, and thank you, Suga.”

“No worries, Asahi.” The door creaked open, and Nishinoya stood with a few bags of takeout. He flashed a grin. “Good to see you, Dr. Azumane.”

“It’s good to see you, too.” Asahi replied. He was never lying, and he truly felt that his statement would always ring true. A constant state of balance was essential to his own personal brand of Equilibrium, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! if you got this far, i very much appreciate it. i wrote this fic over the summer and just finally decided to re-edit and post it. :):):)
> 
> my tumblr is mint-ao3 if you would like to drop me a message or see updates for future fics in the works. thanks!!

**Author's Note:**

> tysm for reading! the next chapters are on their way and will not be as long. the story is completely written and edited. :)


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